Fun

U.S. — A Bible application for mobile devices was blacklisted by members of several evangelical denominations after its developer claimed to release a new "update" for the King James Version.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what supporters are calling "the most popular executive action since bringing back the McRib," President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday formally authorizing citizens to shoot obnoxious hooligans on those motorized bikes.

CAMBRIDGE — A paper published by professors at the University of Cambridge affirmed a long-speculated theory about Heaven, that everyone gets their own G.I. Joe Aircraft Carrier toy.

Peter Jackson’s The Fellowship of the Ring is among the best films ever made, but it’s long. Clocking in at almost three hours for the theatrical release (3h 48m for the extended edition), it’s hard to know when the best time to watch it is. Fortunately, we’ve got you covered.

From tropical luxury to frosty serenity, there’s an island to suit every traveler’s taste.

CHURCH, VA — Employees at a local shrimp house were reportedly traumatized following a surprise visit by President Trump who, upon arriving, vowed that a civilization would die that night.

The internet has been abuzz once again about the dueling claims and court cases between actress Blake Lively and actor Justin Baldoni. With so much contradictory information, it’s hard to know what’s real or where to begin. Here, collected at last in one space, is everything you need to know about the Lively-Baldoni saga:

It’s also perfect for wildlife spotting, too.

U.S. — Members of the Democratic Party from across the nation issued a statement clarifying that everyone is an evil Nazi except that one guy running for Senate in Maine who has a Nazi tattoo.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a landmark decision to compensate for what was described as "mistreatment" he suffered in jail, would-be assassin Cole Allen was granted one more chance to try to kill President Donald Trump.

U.S. — Fans of the hit faith-based series The Chosen were left reeling this week after showrunners were accused of "blatantly jumping the shark" by planning to kill off the show’s main character in one episode, only to bring Him back to life in the very next one.

PORTLAND, OR — After losing his coding job to artificial intelligence, local man Roger Garrison was told by political pundits that he should instead learn to mine coal.

The long-distance train route from Chicago to the Pacific Northwest passes city skylines, national parks, lakes, small towns, and more.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s the custom of every president to build a presidential library, but President Donald Trump has announced he is going to buck that convention.

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL — In a touching tribute to one of America’s most formative chapters in air travel, dozens of emotional passengers gathered at the gate to board the final scheduled flight of Spirit Airlines, preparing themselves for one last, glorious, no-holds-barred midair brawl.

SAN FRANCISCO — The homeless of California have achieved a final and decisive victory in Governor Gavin Newsom’s fight against homelessness.

TEHRAN — Peace in the Middle East hit another major roadblock this week after Iranian officials issued a serious threat that they have a hidden strategic reserve of even more serious threats.

Beyond the Acropolis, I found Japanese fusion, herbal spa treatments, and some friendly stray cats.

LAKEWOOD, CO — In a solemn family meeting, local father Chandler Cooke gathered his wife and children into the living room to unveil the family’s detailed, non-negotiable Lord of the Rings summer viewing schedule.

As Spirit Airlines prepares to permanently close its doors, it’s time to take a look at some alternative means of travel.

MACON, GA — A smoke alarm living in the house of a local family waited patiently until all the home’s occupants went to sleep to start beeping loudly sometime around 3 A.M. to announce that its battery was low.

HEAVEN — Within moments of arriving at the Pearly Gates, local boomer Gary Whitaker located Heaven’s sound booth and politely but firmly informed the angelic operator that the worship music was too loud.

They bring instant peace of mind to travelers of all ages.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump presented King Charles with a beautiful new toothbrush as part of the monarch’s visit to the United States.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a devastating setback to the Democratic Party, the United States Supreme Court ruled today that they have to stop being racist.

How massages, yoga, sound baths, and tiny portions (sigh) helped me put things into perspective.

As a student, it’s wise to pick up clues from your teacher — whether it’s their expectations of you, what they might include on the final exam, and whether they are plotting to assassinate the U.S. President.

U.S. — On the heels of yet another attempted act of political violence being used for laughs by late-night talk show hosts, Americans expressed a deep longing for the good old days when comedians were funny and didn’t wish death on people.

Discover Verona, Italy, with local recommendations for the best places to stay, eat, and explore.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a the wake of yet another failed assassination attempt against President Trump, leading Democrats across the nation announced they would observe the long-standing tradition of a five-minute pause in calling Trump "literally Hitler".

Buellton, California, is home to the longest zip line in the state and a movie-famous motel.

When your soul yearns for inspiration, there is no better place to turn than the Word of God. Be lifted up by these seven amazing quotes from Scripture:

Everything’s coming up roses.

MONTGOMERY, AL — The Southern Poverty Law Center defended itself against reports of controversial spending practices by informing donors that funding the Ku Klux Klan is only 3% of what they do.

LINDALE, TX — Surprising many, a preacher at New Wine Community Church held up a three-year-old child’s crappy Sunday school drawing and declared that it was pleasing to Jesus.

Plus, it’s home to one of the most famous lakes in the U.K.

Whoa, man. Check it out: That’s a free couch sitting on the side of the road there. Not a chair. Not a love seat. A whole friggin’ couch.

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK — A local architect contracted to design the new location for First Testimony Crosspointe Church was reportedly fired and escorted from the construction site after suggesting the building include a steeple.

We all love a good conversion story. Those beautiful accounts of people who thought life had meaning and then realized that none of this matters and we’re all going to die and there’s nothing else after that except the long darkness. It brings a tear to the eye (which is a non-meaningful, chemical reaction biologically programmed into us through millions of years of random mutations).

PITTSBURGH, PA — In a stark change from decades of tradition, the National Football League announced that, rather than the standard method of having each team select its preferred prospects, it would now utilize Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat for this year’s draft.

AUSTIN, TX — Following an announcement that Infowars would soon be converted into a satirical news outlet, American media personality Alex Jones, known for his fringe conspiracy theories related to the Sandy Hook school shooting and homosexual frogs, expressed concern that people would start to think the stories reported by Infowars are fake.

KINGMAN, AZ — According to witness accounts, a local woman carried her unborn child to a full 9 months, enduring considerable hardship in the process, only to name him "Walter."