“Even though I walk in the dark valley, I fear no evil; for you are at my side with your rod and your staff that give me courage…” – Psalm 23
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
On this past Wednesday, with profound sadness, we shared the news of the sudden death of Father Rafael Ciro, pastor of St. Stephen’s Church, Paterson. We have received official confirmation from the Medical Examiner that Father Rafael died by suicide.
We continue to mourn as a diocesan family, and consider our presbyterate, who has lost a brother, the parish community of St. Stephen’s, which has lost a beloved pastor, and Father Rafael’s dear family and friends in Colombia.
Father Rafael was a faithful, joyful, dedicated priest since his Ordination on May 25, 2013. The Word of God teaches us that “…we hold these treasures in earthen vessels…” (2 Cor. 4:7). A priest is a human being, and none of us is immune to illness. Though most of us realize that physical illness can be fatal, we may not always realize that the same is true of other illnesses. Father Rafael fought the good fight in his struggles with mental illness with the support and care of friends, counselors, and brother priests.
The level of profound desperation that insidiously led a person of deep faith to this earthly conclusion is impossible to comprehend. Therefore, we lift Father Rafael and his grieving loved ones and colleagues up in prayer for the consolation that only God gives.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church provides strong guidance for us as we grapple with the shock of Father Rafael’s death. According to the Catechism:
“We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.” (2283).
Shaken to the core by this tragedy, our faith in eternal life through Christ is our light in darkness. Confronted with mourning, we are supported by the Church’s rituals for grieving with faith and hope in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Good Shepherd, who conquers sin and death. We turn to the Lord as a community of faith and hold fast to his promise, “I have told you this so that you might have peace in me. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world” (Jn 16:33). Soon details regarding Father Rafael’s funeral arrangements will be provided so that we may mourn him together and seek God’s mercy with hope.
For those who may be in need of mental health support or may be suffering from suicidal thoughts, please know that help is available and there is Hope for healing. Anyone who may need assistance should contact their local mental health provider or call or text 988 for the suicide and crisis lifeline.
No one of us can – nor will we ever – have complete understanding of Father Rafael’s fears and struggles. We do know that he fought with courage to find equilibrium and tranquility that would allow him to live with the peaceful heart for which he longed. The long shadow of this moment does not diminish the bright light of his spirit. We thank God for Father Rafael, and we will miss him beyond what words can convey.
The certain faith that Father Rafael lived and celebrated each day at Mass is that in death, “life is changed, not ended.” At our baptism, we are clothed in immortality. We pray that through the infinite mercy of God, Father Rafael finds embrace in the dwelling in heaven prepared for all of the faithful.
May he rest in peace. Amen.
Statement from Bishop Kevin J. Sweeney of the Diocese of Paterson on the death of Reverend Rafael Ciro