motherhood

After stillbirth loss, mother of 7 returns to school to help others heal #Catholic After experiencing an unimaginable loss, Kelly Helsel felt called to begin a new chapter. Following 17 years as a stay-at-home mother, she returned to school to pursue her dream of becoming a counselor — hoping to offer others the same compassionate support and Catholic guidance that helped bring healing to her own life.In 2023 Helsel’s daughter, Mary Catherine, was stillborn. The experience and grief was ultimately “a huge catalyst to me going back to school,” Helsel told EWTN News.“I think death has an interesting way of snapping your priorities in line,” she said. “And through the death of our daughter, I understood that tomorrow was not promised. And I had been holding this dream very closely for 17 years, just trusting,” she said.“Much of my healing process after the stillbirth of our daughter was helped along by solid Catholic counseling,” she said. “So I just felt a whisper at first, and then I felt like, ‘I can turn around and be this for someone else in need.’ And so I did.”Path back to schoolA native of Arizona, Helsel met her now-husband, Doug, in high school. She then attended Northern Arizona University to receive a bachelorʼs degree in psychology with the hopes of becoming a counselor, but motherhood ultimately became her first priority.“My firstborn … was born during finals week of my bachelorʼs degree,” Helsel said. “I actually had a positive pregnancy test the day before I was scheduled to take the GRE [Graduate Record Examination].”“I just knew that motherhood was the priority and that Godʼs timing would take care of things. So I stayed at home,” she said.Helsel decided to put her plans of working as a counselor on the side and focus on her growing family. She and her husband had seven children over the next 17 years, but after the loss of their sixth child she felt called to switch her plans and return to school. “We just started taking one step in front of the other,” she said. Helsel started by applying to the University of Mary’s master’s program for counseling about six months after her daughter’s passing but was thrown an unexpected “curveball” during the process.“On the feast of the Annunciation, I got in. But then I also had a positive pregnancy test with my daughter, Isabel, on the very same day.”“I remember standing in the bathroom with my husband with my phone in one hand with an acceptance letter, and on the counter was a positive pregnancy test with our seventh baby.”Motherhood provided ‘the skills to be a fantastic student’Despite navigating grief, welcoming a new baby, and continuing to care for the rest of her family, Helsel not only decided to return to school but also opted for a five-semester accelerated program.She graduated on April 25 with a 4.0 GPA and her whole family by her side. It was all possible not in spite of her 17 years as a stay-at-home mom but because of the experience. Kelly Helsel, her husband Doug Helsel, and their children at her graduation a the University of Mary on April 25, 2026. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Kelly Helsel “I actually think that motherhood, 17 years of motherhood, gave me the skills to be a fantastic student,” she said. “I learned time management. I learned prioritization. I learned how to ask for help. I learned all kinds of things in the trenches of motherhood that gave me the opportunity to really thrive at UMary.” “I guess the loss of my daughter really showed me that like all things are ‘figure-out-able,’” she said. “When youʼve gone through something like that, it makes you unafraid to do really big things.”“I knew that I could just cannonball into the deep end and we could do this. And my husband was an amazing support throughout the program. But, Isabel was the curveball of all curveballs,” she said.“She was born during Christmas break and I just jumped back in in January. I didnʼt take any time off,” she said. "I would be in a rocking chair breastfeeding her, and my laptop is sitting next to me and Iʼm listening to a lecture.”“I became a pro at using the dictation tool on Microsoft Word” so “I could hold my baby and dictate a paper,” she said. “It was just a really wild time. I learned to be extremely flexible and gentle with myself ... But I just knew God was like, ‘go, go right now.’”“It was super bumpy at some points,“ she said. ”But I chose the University of Mary because I feel like [University of Mary president] Monsignor [James] Shea and the university really put their money where their mouth is in terms of supporting nontraditional students — especially mothers.”“All of my professors were extremely accommodating with extensions if I needed one. A few professors gave me early finals because Isabel was born right at the end of that first semester,” she said. “So the University of Mary was really crucial to my success because everyone was behind me.” Helsel noted that her professors, especially counseling professor Olivia Wedel, and other facility members and students were champions in cheering her “all the way to the finish line.”Waddell “would always remind me that ‘Iʼm surrounded by support,’” Helsel said. “When youʼre super tired and youʼre on your fourth Crock-Pot meal of the week and you donʼt have anymore bandwidth left, I just thought, ‘I am surrounded by support.’”“Jesus is real and his promises are too,” Helsel said. “I just remember really having to trust the Lord in a new way and also having to be very open to my dream not looking exactly like I wanted.”“So yes, I went back to school and I got a masterʼs degree, but it looked absolutely nothing like I thought it was going to, but it was also better, just like he had promised me.”“Your dreams matter to him,“ she said. ”Trust him, and especially Our Lady, with your dreams. Because he wants both. He wants your motherhood and your dreams.”Catholic counseling offers ‘the keys to real human flourishing’Officially a licensed counselor, Helsel is ready to jump in headfirst to help others in need by utilizing the guidance offered by the Catholic Church.“I believe very deeply that the Catholic Church has the keys to real human flourishing,” she said. “So I knew I wanted to become a mental health professional with those guardrails in place, because I benefited so much from Catholic counseling.”“I want to turn back around and help the next woman or couple or … anyone in line that needs to hear the good news, coupled with solid mental health formation. Like St. Thomas Aquinas says, ‘faith and reason.’ We need both.”With her “perinatal mental health training,” Helsel hopes to primarily work in the womenʼs health category “to support other women, pregnant women, postpartum women,” she said. “And obviously I have a love for people who may have lost a child in a particular way.”Helsel is interested in helping those discerning vocations, as her oldest son plans to apply to the priesthood. She is also hoping to support the vocation of marriage as it is “under a particular attack at this time.”To accomplish all of this, Helsel has already started her own private practice called Concordia Counseling.“I chose Concordia because Mary Catherine had a congenital heart condition,” she said. “Concordia means heart to heart or to bring two hearts into harmony. I wanted to honor my baby in heaven and Our Lord with my work. And so I started Concordia Counseling.”“Iʼm just getting it started. I have a caseload of about 10 clients, but Iʼm hoping to accept more,“ Helsel said. ”I know that the work I want to do most of all involves not just mental health but the teachings of the Catholic Church.”“I just think the framework needs to be formed properly, and that is the Catholic understanding of the whole person. And from there we can jump off anywhere,” she said.
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After stillbirth loss, mother of 7 returns to school to help others heal #Catholic After experiencing an unimaginable loss, Kelly Helsel felt called to begin a new chapter. Following 17 years as a stay-at-home mother, she returned to school to pursue her dream of becoming a counselor — hoping to offer others the same compassionate support and Catholic guidance that helped bring healing to her own life.In 2023 Helsel’s daughter, Mary Catherine, was stillborn. The experience and grief was ultimately “a huge catalyst to me going back to school,” Helsel told EWTN News.“I think death has an interesting way of snapping your priorities in line,” she said. “And through the death of our daughter, I understood that tomorrow was not promised. And I had been holding this dream very closely for 17 years, just trusting,” she said.“Much of my healing process after the stillbirth of our daughter was helped along by solid Catholic counseling,” she said. “So I just felt a whisper at first, and then I felt like, ‘I can turn around and be this for someone else in need.’ And so I did.”Path back to schoolA native of Arizona, Helsel met her now-husband, Doug, in high school. She then attended Northern Arizona University to receive a bachelorʼs degree in psychology with the hopes of becoming a counselor, but motherhood ultimately became her first priority.“My firstborn … was born during finals week of my bachelorʼs degree,” Helsel said. “I actually had a positive pregnancy test the day before I was scheduled to take the GRE [Graduate Record Examination].”“I just knew that motherhood was the priority and that Godʼs timing would take care of things. So I stayed at home,” she said.Helsel decided to put her plans of working as a counselor on the side and focus on her growing family. She and her husband had seven children over the next 17 years, but after the loss of their sixth child she felt called to switch her plans and return to school. “We just started taking one step in front of the other,” she said. Helsel started by applying to the University of Mary’s master’s program for counseling about six months after her daughter’s passing but was thrown an unexpected “curveball” during the process.“On the feast of the Annunciation, I got in. But then I also had a positive pregnancy test with my daughter, Isabel, on the very same day.”“I remember standing in the bathroom with my husband with my phone in one hand with an acceptance letter, and on the counter was a positive pregnancy test with our seventh baby.”Motherhood provided ‘the skills to be a fantastic student’Despite navigating grief, welcoming a new baby, and continuing to care for the rest of her family, Helsel not only decided to return to school but also opted for a five-semester accelerated program.She graduated on April 25 with a 4.0 GPA and her whole family by her side. It was all possible not in spite of her 17 years as a stay-at-home mom but because of the experience. Kelly Helsel, her husband Doug Helsel, and their children at her graduation a the University of Mary on April 25, 2026. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Kelly Helsel “I actually think that motherhood, 17 years of motherhood, gave me the skills to be a fantastic student,” she said. “I learned time management. I learned prioritization. I learned how to ask for help. I learned all kinds of things in the trenches of motherhood that gave me the opportunity to really thrive at UMary.” “I guess the loss of my daughter really showed me that like all things are ‘figure-out-able,’” she said. “When youʼve gone through something like that, it makes you unafraid to do really big things.”“I knew that I could just cannonball into the deep end and we could do this. And my husband was an amazing support throughout the program. But, Isabel was the curveball of all curveballs,” she said.“She was born during Christmas break and I just jumped back in in January. I didnʼt take any time off,” she said. "I would be in a rocking chair breastfeeding her, and my laptop is sitting next to me and Iʼm listening to a lecture.”“I became a pro at using the dictation tool on Microsoft Word” so “I could hold my baby and dictate a paper,” she said. “It was just a really wild time. I learned to be extremely flexible and gentle with myself … But I just knew God was like, ‘go, go right now.’”“It was super bumpy at some points,“ she said. ”But I chose the University of Mary because I feel like [University of Mary president] Monsignor [James] Shea and the university really put their money where their mouth is in terms of supporting nontraditional students — especially mothers.”“All of my professors were extremely accommodating with extensions if I needed one. A few professors gave me early finals because Isabel was born right at the end of that first semester,” she said. “So the University of Mary was really crucial to my success because everyone was behind me.” Helsel noted that her professors, especially counseling professor Olivia Wedel, and other facility members and students were champions in cheering her “all the way to the finish line.”Waddell “would always remind me that ‘Iʼm surrounded by support,’” Helsel said. “When youʼre super tired and youʼre on your fourth Crock-Pot meal of the week and you donʼt have anymore bandwidth left, I just thought, ‘I am surrounded by support.’”“Jesus is real and his promises are too,” Helsel said. “I just remember really having to trust the Lord in a new way and also having to be very open to my dream not looking exactly like I wanted.”“So yes, I went back to school and I got a masterʼs degree, but it looked absolutely nothing like I thought it was going to, but it was also better, just like he had promised me.”“Your dreams matter to him,“ she said. ”Trust him, and especially Our Lady, with your dreams. Because he wants both. He wants your motherhood and your dreams.”Catholic counseling offers ‘the keys to real human flourishing’Officially a licensed counselor, Helsel is ready to jump in headfirst to help others in need by utilizing the guidance offered by the Catholic Church.“I believe very deeply that the Catholic Church has the keys to real human flourishing,” she said. “So I knew I wanted to become a mental health professional with those guardrails in place, because I benefited so much from Catholic counseling.”“I want to turn back around and help the next woman or couple or … anyone in line that needs to hear the good news, coupled with solid mental health formation. Like St. Thomas Aquinas says, ‘faith and reason.’ We need both.”With her “perinatal mental health training,” Helsel hopes to primarily work in the womenʼs health category “to support other women, pregnant women, postpartum women,” she said. “And obviously I have a love for people who may have lost a child in a particular way.”Helsel is interested in helping those discerning vocations, as her oldest son plans to apply to the priesthood. She is also hoping to support the vocation of marriage as it is “under a particular attack at this time.”To accomplish all of this, Helsel has already started her own private practice called Concordia Counseling.“I chose Concordia because Mary Catherine had a congenital heart condition,” she said. “Concordia means heart to heart or to bring two hearts into harmony. I wanted to honor my baby in heaven and Our Lord with my work. And so I started Concordia Counseling.”“Iʼm just getting it started. I have a caseload of about 10 clients, but Iʼm hoping to accept more,“ Helsel said. ”I know that the work I want to do most of all involves not just mental health but the teachings of the Catholic Church.”“I just think the framework needs to be formed properly, and that is the Catholic understanding of the whole person. And from there we can jump off anywhere,” she said.

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After navigating loss and grief, Kelly Helsel is officially now a licensed counselor thanks to the guidance given to her by the Catholic Church and her desire to use her experience to help others.

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1 in 6 face infertility; Catholic author urges faith-filled support #Catholic During this yearʼs National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), Leigh Fitzpatrick Snead, who personally carries the cross of infertility, spoke about the difficult topic with the hope of making others experiencing it feel less alone.NIAW runs from April 19–25, bringing attention to the high numbers of people — now 1 in 6 globally — who experience infertility at some point in their lives, according to the World Health Organization.Snead, a fellow at The Catholic Association, tackles the topic in her book “Infertile But Fruitful: Finding Fulfillment When You Canʼt Conceive.” Through her story and the stories of other women, she wrote the book to be “the voice of a friend who has been where you are now and made it through in one piece.”Snead said the book was “a chance for me to add to the growing conversation and awareness about infertility, especially among Catholics for whom in vitro fertilization (IVF) (the standard ‘cure’ for infertility) is not an option.” In an interview with EWTN News, Snead shared her perspective and offered encouragement and advice for couples navigating the grief of infertility.EWTN News: What might people not know about infertility?Leigh Snead: For sure, how many people are suffering from it. For good reasons, this is a particularly private cross — it involves the most intimate parts of your marriage, for one. But marriage is public, and people can easily see if you do or donʼt have children, or, in most cases, whether or not youʼre expecting.There is a lot of hard stuff experienced in silence and even shame. It might be hard to understand if you havenʼt been through it, but it can feel almost humiliating when you canʼt conceive and so you tend to slap on a smile and pretend nothing is wrong.Itʼs too bad when we give in to this temptation to isolate ourselves from others who really only want to help. Yes, their concern can feel like even more pressure on top of what you may already be feeling internally, but you should open yourself up to their prayers. In the same way, pray for married couples and couples you think might be carrying the cross of infertility, even before they ask you.What do you wish you knew when you began navigating infertility, and what would you tell couples who are going through it now?I wish I hadnʼt overlooked and underestimated the relief and comfort I could have received by being more open about my physical and emotional struggles when facing infertility. The more I kept it a secret, the more shameful it all felt, which led to isolation and even more secrecy and shame.Privacy is one thing, but purposefully forgoing the love and prayers of those who only care for you out of shame over something you have little to no control over — nothing good can come of that.What steps can couples who are going through infertility take?Seek good medical care that aligns with your values. Learn and develop a good understanding of what the Church teaches, especially about the prohibition of IVF. Understand the “why” — not just the fact that itʼs “not allowed.” Communicate with each other and make time to enjoy your marriage even though youʼre struggling.Bear this burden together. Find parish support groups or a group online. Pray together and choose a saint to accompany you. Youʼre probably going to feel and think some dark things, so frequent confession, spiritual direction, and counseling is a good idea.What does the Catholic Church offer couples who struggle with this? What do you think the Church can do to further help them?The teachings on marriage, sexuality, and procreation the Church gives us are such a gift, but we need to be reminded of them regularly. Iʼd like to see more priests and seminarians become fluent in the language of Catholic infertility. I think making a discussion about the possibility of infertility should be included in marriage prep courses.The Catholic infertility ministry Springs in the Desert is a great resource not only for those carrying the cross of infertility but for those, like priests, hoping to support them.What advice do you have for couples who are being pushed to try IVF and other methods that do not align with Church teaching?Seek medical care from a doctor who respects or, even better, shares your views on marriage, sexuality, procreation, and human dignity. This is true for whatever type of medical care you may be seeking and is not limited to fertility care. If you feel mistreated by your physician, just walk out. There is another doctor out there who will provide you with the care you deserve.You and your husband eventually became parents though adoption. What would you want people to know about adoption?I think itʼs important to keep in mind that infertility and adoption are not to be lumped together, and I try to not conflate the two in my work. Thatʼs not always easy for me because I have four beautiful sons through the great gift of adoption.Not everyone with a diagnosis of infertility will be called to adopt a child. There are so many ways to be fruitful! We shouldnʼt limit our idea of a fruitful marriage to the raising of children, and no one should feel obliged to adopt because theyʼre unable to conceive. And if they donʼt hear that call to adopt it does not mean that they didnʼt “really” want a child, or that they arenʼt suffering.In a similar fashion, adoption fulfilled my call to motherhood but the arrival of my sons did not “cure” my infertility, nor did it take away the scars infertility can leave behind. Itʼs one of those messy parts of life where you feel all the feelings at once.
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1 in 6 face infertility; Catholic author urges faith-filled support #Catholic During this yearʼs National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), Leigh Fitzpatrick Snead, who personally carries the cross of infertility, spoke about the difficult topic with the hope of making others experiencing it feel less alone.NIAW runs from April 19–25, bringing attention to the high numbers of people — now 1 in 6 globally — who experience infertility at some point in their lives, according to the World Health Organization.Snead, a fellow at The Catholic Association, tackles the topic in her book “Infertile But Fruitful: Finding Fulfillment When You Canʼt Conceive.” Through her story and the stories of other women, she wrote the book to be “the voice of a friend who has been where you are now and made it through in one piece.”Snead said the book was “a chance for me to add to the growing conversation and awareness about infertility, especially among Catholics for whom in vitro fertilization (IVF) (the standard ‘cure’ for infertility) is not an option.” In an interview with EWTN News, Snead shared her perspective and offered encouragement and advice for couples navigating the grief of infertility.EWTN News: What might people not know about infertility?Leigh Snead: For sure, how many people are suffering from it. For good reasons, this is a particularly private cross — it involves the most intimate parts of your marriage, for one. But marriage is public, and people can easily see if you do or donʼt have children, or, in most cases, whether or not youʼre expecting.There is a lot of hard stuff experienced in silence and even shame. It might be hard to understand if you havenʼt been through it, but it can feel almost humiliating when you canʼt conceive and so you tend to slap on a smile and pretend nothing is wrong.Itʼs too bad when we give in to this temptation to isolate ourselves from others who really only want to help. Yes, their concern can feel like even more pressure on top of what you may already be feeling internally, but you should open yourself up to their prayers. In the same way, pray for married couples and couples you think might be carrying the cross of infertility, even before they ask you.What do you wish you knew when you began navigating infertility, and what would you tell couples who are going through it now?I wish I hadnʼt overlooked and underestimated the relief and comfort I could have received by being more open about my physical and emotional struggles when facing infertility. The more I kept it a secret, the more shameful it all felt, which led to isolation and even more secrecy and shame.Privacy is one thing, but purposefully forgoing the love and prayers of those who only care for you out of shame over something you have little to no control over — nothing good can come of that.What steps can couples who are going through infertility take?Seek good medical care that aligns with your values. Learn and develop a good understanding of what the Church teaches, especially about the prohibition of IVF. Understand the “why” — not just the fact that itʼs “not allowed.” Communicate with each other and make time to enjoy your marriage even though youʼre struggling.Bear this burden together. Find parish support groups or a group online. Pray together and choose a saint to accompany you. Youʼre probably going to feel and think some dark things, so frequent confession, spiritual direction, and counseling is a good idea.What does the Catholic Church offer couples who struggle with this? What do you think the Church can do to further help them?The teachings on marriage, sexuality, and procreation the Church gives us are such a gift, but we need to be reminded of them regularly. Iʼd like to see more priests and seminarians become fluent in the language of Catholic infertility. I think making a discussion about the possibility of infertility should be included in marriage prep courses.The Catholic infertility ministry Springs in the Desert is a great resource not only for those carrying the cross of infertility but for those, like priests, hoping to support them.What advice do you have for couples who are being pushed to try IVF and other methods that do not align with Church teaching?Seek medical care from a doctor who respects or, even better, shares your views on marriage, sexuality, procreation, and human dignity. This is true for whatever type of medical care you may be seeking and is not limited to fertility care. If you feel mistreated by your physician, just walk out. There is another doctor out there who will provide you with the care you deserve.You and your husband eventually became parents though adoption. What would you want people to know about adoption?I think itʼs important to keep in mind that infertility and adoption are not to be lumped together, and I try to not conflate the two in my work. Thatʼs not always easy for me because I have four beautiful sons through the great gift of adoption.Not everyone with a diagnosis of infertility will be called to adopt a child. There are so many ways to be fruitful! We shouldnʼt limit our idea of a fruitful marriage to the raising of children, and no one should feel obliged to adopt because theyʼre unable to conceive. And if they donʼt hear that call to adopt it does not mean that they didnʼt “really” want a child, or that they arenʼt suffering.In a similar fashion, adoption fulfilled my call to motherhood but the arrival of my sons did not “cure” my infertility, nor did it take away the scars infertility can leave behind. Itʼs one of those messy parts of life where you feel all the feelings at once.

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During National Infertility Awareness Week, author Leigh Fitzpatrick Snead shared encouragement and advice for Catholic couples navigating infertility.

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