relationships

Catholic thinkers, tech experts reflect on promise and perils of AI at New York Encounter #Catholic NEW YORK — How can Catholic social teaching guide us in weighing the benefits of artificial intelligence against the dangers it poses to human dignity? That question animated a wide-ranging discussion among Catholic thinkers and technology experts at the New York Encounter on Saturday.Citing Pope Leo XIV’s call to use AI responsibly as well as the Church’s historic defense of human dignity in the face of modern technology, Davide Bolchini, moderator and dean of the Luddy School of Informatics at Indiana University, opened the discussion before an audience of several hundred people gathered for the three-day cultural conference in New York City.“The pope encouraged us to use AI responsibly, to use it in a way that helps us grow, not to let it work against us, but to let it work with us, not to substitute human intelligence, not to replace our judgment of what’s right … our ability of authentic wonder,” Bolchini said.With technology rapidly advancing, Bolchini asked, how can the Church stay ahead of these challenges?Chuck Rossi, an engineer at Meta who is developing AI-driven content moderation technology at the technology conglomerate, which includes Facebook and Instagram, argued that in his work, developments in AI have been instrumental in safeguarding human beings from harm. AI systems, he said, can examine 2.5 billion pieces of of shared online content per hour, filtering harmful material including nudity and sexual activity, bullying and harassment, child endanger, dangerous organizations, fake accounts, hateful conduct, restricted goods and services, spam, suicide and self-injury, violence and incitement, and violent and graphic content.“That’s my world,” he said. “It’s a very, very hard problem. If we miss 0.1% of 2. 5 billion, that’s millions of things that we didn’t want to be seeing. But we do an excellent job, and we have for years — we’re one of the best at it,” Rossi said.Using AI also protects human content moderators from being exposed to disturbing material, as they were in the past.“The good thing that we are giving back to humans is you never have to do this horrible work,” he said.Paul Scherz, professor of theology at the University of Notre Dame, acknowledged the benefits of AI, which he said included advances in medicine and efficiency for tasks like billing (“Nobody wants to do billing,” he said).But Scherz warned of the dangers of relying on technology to do what is intrinsically human.“We are really starting to turn to AI as people more broadly for these relational aspects, which would be tragic because there is something in that human-to-human connection, the ‘I/thou connection,’ as Martin Buber called it, that is irreplaceable by a machine,” Scherz said. He noted that AI has even moved into ministry, with the rise of Catholic apps relying on bots to offer catechesis.Scherz also cautioned that substituting AI for human interaction and intelligence risks eroding our skills, whether in relationships or in professional life.“My fear is as we use these chatbots more and more we will lose those person-to-person skills. We’ll no longer be able to engage one another as well, or have the patience and virtue to deeply love and encounter one another,” Scherz said.In addition, relying on AI in our work, for example, when a doctor consults AI to make a diagnosis, will result in our “de-skilling,” he said. “We know that people, when they’re using automated systems, they tend to just become biased and complacent and just approve the automated system. They lose their skills,” he said, adding that airline pilots who rely too much on autopilot are more prone to making errors.Louis Kim, former vice president of personal systems and AI at Hewlett-Packard who is currently pursuing graduate studies in theology and health care, pointed out that it’s not possible to know today what skills will be required in the future.“My personal view is I often find that predictions of impacted technology are largely unconsciously based on what we know of the current paradigm and structure and technologies,” Kim said.“There are going to be skills needed to control AI that are going to be different,” he said.Kim also called for “humility” in discussions about AI’s potential to affect human relationships.“Let’s ask ourselves about the quality of our current human relationships, whether it’s in the workplace, in toxic cultures, sometimes at home — even at conferences, at your next break, as you go around talking to this person [or] that person, how many times that person is looking over your shoulder for the more important person to talk to?” he said.Our moral formation, he said, will continue to shape the quality of our encounters with others.
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Catholic thinkers, tech experts reflect on promise and perils of AI at New York Encounter #Catholic NEW YORK — How can Catholic social teaching guide us in weighing the benefits of artificial intelligence against the dangers it poses to human dignity? That question animated a wide-ranging discussion among Catholic thinkers and technology experts at the New York Encounter on Saturday.Citing Pope Leo XIV’s call to use AI responsibly as well as the Church’s historic defense of human dignity in the face of modern technology, Davide Bolchini, moderator and dean of the Luddy School of Informatics at Indiana University, opened the discussion before an audience of several hundred people gathered for the three-day cultural conference in New York City.“The pope encouraged us to use AI responsibly, to use it in a way that helps us grow, not to let it work against us, but to let it work with us, not to substitute human intelligence, not to replace our judgment of what’s right … our ability of authentic wonder,” Bolchini said.With technology rapidly advancing, Bolchini asked, how can the Church stay ahead of these challenges?Chuck Rossi, an engineer at Meta who is developing AI-driven content moderation technology at the technology conglomerate, which includes Facebook and Instagram, argued that in his work, developments in AI have been instrumental in safeguarding human beings from harm. AI systems, he said, can examine 2.5 billion pieces of of shared online content per hour, filtering harmful material including nudity and sexual activity, bullying and harassment, child endanger, dangerous organizations, fake accounts, hateful conduct, restricted goods and services, spam, suicide and self-injury, violence and incitement, and violent and graphic content.“That’s my world,” he said. “It’s a very, very hard problem. If we miss 0.1% of 2. 5 billion, that’s millions of things that we didn’t want to be seeing. But we do an excellent job, and we have for years — we’re one of the best at it,” Rossi said.Using AI also protects human content moderators from being exposed to disturbing material, as they were in the past.“The good thing that we are giving back to humans is you never have to do this horrible work,” he said.Paul Scherz, professor of theology at the University of Notre Dame, acknowledged the benefits of AI, which he said included advances in medicine and efficiency for tasks like billing (“Nobody wants to do billing,” he said).But Scherz warned of the dangers of relying on technology to do what is intrinsically human.“We are really starting to turn to AI as people more broadly for these relational aspects, which would be tragic because there is something in that human-to-human connection, the ‘I/thou connection,’ as Martin Buber called it, that is irreplaceable by a machine,” Scherz said. He noted that AI has even moved into ministry, with the rise of Catholic apps relying on bots to offer catechesis.Scherz also cautioned that substituting AI for human interaction and intelligence risks eroding our skills, whether in relationships or in professional life.“My fear is as we use these chatbots more and more we will lose those person-to-person skills. We’ll no longer be able to engage one another as well, or have the patience and virtue to deeply love and encounter one another,” Scherz said.In addition, relying on AI in our work, for example, when a doctor consults AI to make a diagnosis, will result in our “de-skilling,” he said. “We know that people, when they’re using automated systems, they tend to just become biased and complacent and just approve the automated system. They lose their skills,” he said, adding that airline pilots who rely too much on autopilot are more prone to making errors.Louis Kim, former vice president of personal systems and AI at Hewlett-Packard who is currently pursuing graduate studies in theology and health care, pointed out that it’s not possible to know today what skills will be required in the future.“My personal view is I often find that predictions of impacted technology are largely unconsciously based on what we know of the current paradigm and structure and technologies,” Kim said.“There are going to be skills needed to control AI that are going to be different,” he said.Kim also called for “humility” in discussions about AI’s potential to affect human relationships.“Let’s ask ourselves about the quality of our current human relationships, whether it’s in the workplace, in toxic cultures, sometimes at home — even at conferences, at your next break, as you go around talking to this person [or] that person, how many times that person is looking over your shoulder for the more important person to talk to?” he said.Our moral formation, he said, will continue to shape the quality of our encounters with others.

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“The pope encouraged us to use AI responsibly, to use it in a way that helps us grow, not to let it work against us, ” said Davide Bolchini, the moderator of an AI panel at the weekend conference.

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Bishop offers guidance amid ‘staggering’ mental health crisis, especially among the young #Catholic “In talking to my pastors, it became crystal clear that there really is a crisis right now regarding mental health and emotional well-being, and in a special way for young people,” Bishop Michael Burbidge of the Diocese of Arlington, Virginia, told EWTN News in an interview discussing a pastoral letter he issued recently. “The scale and scope of this crisis are staggering,” he said in the letter titled “The Divine Physician and a Christian Approach to Mental Health and Wellbeing.” Burbidge explained that he hopes “to offer encouragement and guidance, in light of the teachings of Christ and the Gospel, to all who wish to confront and overcome the modern world’s challenges to mental health and well-being.”With depression now the leading cause of disability worldwide, and 1 in 5 American adults experiencing mental health challenges each year, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, which the bishop cites in his letter, Burbidge told EWTN News that “there’s a real pastoral need for mental health counseling, and my pastors told me they don’t have the expertise” that many families need.The importance of counselors with a Christian perspectiveMany Catholic parents and couples seek out counseling, he said, but often the counseling “isn’t coming from a Christian or Catholic understanding of the world, where persons are oriented to God and to authentic human relationships and the development of virtue.”Understanding the world through the lens of faith is “the crucial factor — even in circumstances where such faithfulness seems in the eyes of the wider world to be desperate, foolish, or even absurd. Faith and trust in God are shown to be the keys to everlasting health and well-being for humanity,” Burbidge wrote in his letter.Faith, he told EWTN News, “helps us to get a glimpse of heaven even now … If that’s not a part of the counseling being provided, it won’t bring about the healing we’re seeking.”Regarding efforts in his diocese, the bishop told EWTN News he formed a mental health commission about a year ago, on which sit experts in psychology, theology, and mental health counseling.He said with the commission’s help, he hopes to soon issue an extensive list of counselors who have been vetted and recommended for the Catholic faithful in his diocese.Father Charles Sikorsky, LC, the president of Divine Mercy University, a Catholic school that offers graduate degrees in psychology and clinical mental health and whose graduates work in various capacities in the Diocese of Arlington, told EWTN News that psychology cannot be addressed properly without a “a Christian view, a Catholic view of the person.”“We’re incarnational beings,” Sikorsky said, “so we need to address the human but also the spiritual dimension of the person, who needs to be treated in a holistic way.”“The word psyche comes from Greek and means soul,” he continued,” so psychology is the science of the soul, and Christ is the divine physician. Any way of looking at or treating people that doesn’t include the entirety of the interior, spiritual life is not going to work. If you reduce a human person to just biology or experiences, it’s not going to work.”Lack of community the ‘culprit’ in the crisisIn his letter, Burbidge named a lack of community as a culprit in the mental health crisis.“We must be willing to connect with others. We are made for community and find purpose when given the chance to cultivate authentic relationships with others and practice virtues like compassion,” he wrote.“As people of faith, Christians have a particular responsibility to address the stigmas that prevent people from seeking help and to remove barriers that keep so many stuck in patterns of isolation and misery,” he wrote. Bishop Michael Burbidge of Arlington, Virginia, recently issued the pastor letter “The Divine Physician and a Christian Approach to Mental Health and Wellbeing.” | Credit: Courtesy of the Diocese of Arlington Burbidge told EWTN News about community-building initiatives that leaders in his diocese have begun, especially since the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic.“People learned quickly from COVID that being isolated, not being part of a caring fellowship, was a detriment to their growth and affected mental health,” he said.He described an increase in new programs throughout the Diocese of Arlington such as Bible studies, lectures, and programs such as That Man is You, a Catholic men’s leadership program.Sikorsky also cited a lack of connection and loneliness that are particularly prevalent in a society rife with “marriage and family breakdown” and in which technology separates people.“So many people are afraid to say they need help,” he said. “If the Church is what it needs to be and should be, it will be a place to experience a sense of belonging to something higher, where people can come to be loved and to be understood.”‘Suffering can be the cross’ that leads us to holinessThe bishop said that in addition to being in communion with others, those suffering from mental health problems must also realize they are beloved children of God, and their “severe distress, depression, or whatever it is, does not define who you are.”“You’re a child of God — that never changes,” Burbidge said. “Don’t identify yourself with that suffering.”“You don’t necessarily need to run away from the suffering, however,” he continued. “That could be the cross that can lead you to holiness. It doesn’t have to completely disappear for you to be well. Maybe you can get help, and still live a healthy, balanced life living with the anxiety or whatever it is you’re struggling with. If it causes a little suffering, it can be united to the Lord’s, and you can see it as a path to holiness.”Sikorsky echoed the bishop, telling EWTN News: “Our dignity is rooted in being children of God. Your dignity is much more than your struggle or the difficulties that you’ve had.”Burbidge is the latest American Catholic bishop to draw attention to the widening mental health crisis in the United States. In 2025, ahead of World Mental Health Day in October, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) announced an addition to its ongoing National Catholic Mental Health Campaign.“As pastors, we want to emphasize this point to anyone who is suffering from mental illness or facing mental health challenges: Nobody and nothing can alter or diminish your God-given dignity. You are a beloved child of God, a God of healing and hope,” the U.S. bishops said at the time.
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Bishop offers guidance amid ‘staggering’ mental health crisis, especially among the young #Catholic “In talking to my pastors, it became crystal clear that there really is a crisis right now regarding mental health and emotional well-being, and in a special way for young people,” Bishop Michael Burbidge of the Diocese of Arlington, Virginia, told EWTN News in an interview discussing a pastoral letter he issued recently. “The scale and scope of this crisis are staggering,” he said in the letter titled “The Divine Physician and a Christian Approach to Mental Health and Wellbeing.” Burbidge explained that he hopes “to offer encouragement and guidance, in light of the teachings of Christ and the Gospel, to all who wish to confront and overcome the modern world’s challenges to mental health and well-being.”With depression now the leading cause of disability worldwide, and 1 in 5 American adults experiencing mental health challenges each year, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, which the bishop cites in his letter, Burbidge told EWTN News that “there’s a real pastoral need for mental health counseling, and my pastors told me they don’t have the expertise” that many families need.The importance of counselors with a Christian perspectiveMany Catholic parents and couples seek out counseling, he said, but often the counseling “isn’t coming from a Christian or Catholic understanding of the world, where persons are oriented to God and to authentic human relationships and the development of virtue.”Understanding the world through the lens of faith is “the crucial factor — even in circumstances where such faithfulness seems in the eyes of the wider world to be desperate, foolish, or even absurd. Faith and trust in God are shown to be the keys to everlasting health and well-being for humanity,” Burbidge wrote in his letter.Faith, he told EWTN News, “helps us to get a glimpse of heaven even now … If that’s not a part of the counseling being provided, it won’t bring about the healing we’re seeking.”Regarding efforts in his diocese, the bishop told EWTN News he formed a mental health commission about a year ago, on which sit experts in psychology, theology, and mental health counseling.He said with the commission’s help, he hopes to soon issue an extensive list of counselors who have been vetted and recommended for the Catholic faithful in his diocese.Father Charles Sikorsky, LC, the president of Divine Mercy University, a Catholic school that offers graduate degrees in psychology and clinical mental health and whose graduates work in various capacities in the Diocese of Arlington, told EWTN News that psychology cannot be addressed properly without a “a Christian view, a Catholic view of the person.”“We’re incarnational beings,” Sikorsky said, “so we need to address the human but also the spiritual dimension of the person, who needs to be treated in a holistic way.”“The word psyche comes from Greek and means soul,” he continued,” so psychology is the science of the soul, and Christ is the divine physician. Any way of looking at or treating people that doesn’t include the entirety of the interior, spiritual life is not going to work. If you reduce a human person to just biology or experiences, it’s not going to work.”Lack of community the ‘culprit’ in the crisisIn his letter, Burbidge named a lack of community as a culprit in the mental health crisis.“We must be willing to connect with others. We are made for community and find purpose when given the chance to cultivate authentic relationships with others and practice virtues like compassion,” he wrote.“As people of faith, Christians have a particular responsibility to address the stigmas that prevent people from seeking help and to remove barriers that keep so many stuck in patterns of isolation and misery,” he wrote. Bishop Michael Burbidge of Arlington, Virginia, recently issued the pastor letter “The Divine Physician and a Christian Approach to Mental Health and Wellbeing.” | Credit: Courtesy of the Diocese of Arlington Burbidge told EWTN News about community-building initiatives that leaders in his diocese have begun, especially since the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic.“People learned quickly from COVID that being isolated, not being part of a caring fellowship, was a detriment to their growth and affected mental health,” he said.He described an increase in new programs throughout the Diocese of Arlington such as Bible studies, lectures, and programs such as That Man is You, a Catholic men’s leadership program.Sikorsky also cited a lack of connection and loneliness that are particularly prevalent in a society rife with “marriage and family breakdown” and in which technology separates people.“So many people are afraid to say they need help,” he said. “If the Church is what it needs to be and should be, it will be a place to experience a sense of belonging to something higher, where people can come to be loved and to be understood.”‘Suffering can be the cross’ that leads us to holinessThe bishop said that in addition to being in communion with others, those suffering from mental health problems must also realize they are beloved children of God, and their “severe distress, depression, or whatever it is, does not define who you are.”“You’re a child of God — that never changes,” Burbidge said. “Don’t identify yourself with that suffering.”“You don’t necessarily need to run away from the suffering, however,” he continued. “That could be the cross that can lead you to holiness. It doesn’t have to completely disappear for you to be well. Maybe you can get help, and still live a healthy, balanced life living with the anxiety or whatever it is you’re struggling with. If it causes a little suffering, it can be united to the Lord’s, and you can see it as a path to holiness.”Sikorsky echoed the bishop, telling EWTN News: “Our dignity is rooted in being children of God. Your dignity is much more than your struggle or the difficulties that you’ve had.”Burbidge is the latest American Catholic bishop to draw attention to the widening mental health crisis in the United States. In 2025, ahead of World Mental Health Day in October, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) announced an addition to its ongoing National Catholic Mental Health Campaign.“As pastors, we want to emphasize this point to anyone who is suffering from mental illness or facing mental health challenges: Nobody and nothing can alter or diminish your God-given dignity. You are a beloved child of God, a God of healing and hope,” the U.S. bishops said at the time.

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In a recent pastoral letter, Bishop Michael Burbidge addressed what he sees as a “crisis” in mental health among Catholics, especially the young, and seeks to remove stigma over seeking help.

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SEEK 2026: 7 ways to discern your vocation #Catholic From left to right: Sister Catherine Joy, Sister Virginia Joy, and Sister Israel Rose of the Sisters of Life at SEEK 2026 in Denver. | Credit: Francesca Fenton/EWTN News Jan 7, 2026 / 06:00 am (CNA). Hundreds of young women filled a ballroom on Jan. 4 at the 2026 SEEK Conference in Denver to hear Sister Virginia Joy Cotter, SV, discuss how to follow God’s call and determine one’s vocation.“When we think about vocation, it’s ultimately a call to love and be loved,” Sister Virginia Joy said during her talk, titled “The Adventure of the Yes: Following God’s Call.”“Growing up, or even now, you’re probably asked, ‘What are you going to do when you grow up? What’s your major? What do you want to do with your life?’” she said. “I would guess no one has probably asked you, ‘What are you going to do with your love? How do you plan to make a gift of yourself?’ But these are the questions that sit behind a vocation.”“For some, the word vocation might be completely foreign to you. For others, maybe it provokes a stream of emotions from wonder to anticipation to anxiety. Whatever it means to you, it’s good to take stock of where it sits with you right now and open your heart to whatever God wants to give you this morning.”Sister Virginia Joy shared that “ultimately, our vocation is not a problem to be fixed or a riddle to be solved … Vocation is deeply relational, personal, and distinct. It comes from the Latin ‘vocare,’ meaning to call, to name, to summon. There’s one who calls and there’s one who responds. It’s a relationship between each individual and God.”Here are seven ways a person can discern his or her vocation based on Sister Virginia Joy’s talk:Pay attention to where and how you are called to loveSister Virginia Joy shared that the questions behind one’s vocation are fundamentally about “what are you going to do with your love” and how you are called to “make a gift of yourself,” not merely what career or role you will have.Receive God’s love firstShe emphasized that the prerequisite for hearing God’s call is first receiving his love, since vocation flows from a relationship.“When I think about a vocational call, I think of two things: First, God is the one who calls, and it is always a call of love. Second, we are the ones to respond to that call and to love in return. So first, the prerequisite to hearing God’s call is receiving his love,” Sister Virginia Joy said.Develop a real prayer life and speak honestly to GodGod makes himself known in prayer, especially when a person speaks from the heart — expressing longing, confusion, loneliness, or desire for meaning.Sister Virginia Joy highlighted that “God is looking for a place to break in and make himself known. I trust you’ve experienced it here at SEEK. It’s real. He’s real. And he is in pursuit of your heart. He knows you and he desires that you come to know him. This happens in prayer.”“But prayer can be challenging because we’re used to instant gratification. We want to see results. And yet relationships, they’re not about results,” she added. “Relationships take time, patience, and trust. Sometimes I think we settle or we allow ourselves to get distracted because real love means facing our weakness and searching for the Lord in times of loneliness, doubt, and even pain.”Sister Virginia Joy Cotter, SV, during her talk on Jan. 4, 2026, at the SEEK conference in Denver. | Credit: Francesca Fenton/EWTN NewsStay close to the sacraments, especially confession and the EucharistSister Virginia Joy emphasized that living in grace and regularly receiving the sacraments helps ensure that a person does not miss God’s call and gains the strength to respond in his time. She shared with those gathered that she has always found herself making life decisions after “a good confession — decisions to move across the country, decisions to become a missionary, decisions to accept a particular job or begin or end a dating relationship.”“I know there can be a lot of fear about somehow missing what God is calling me to,” Sister Virginia Joy said. “And I just want to crush that fear because the truth is if you’re staying close to the sacraments, if you’re living in grace, you will not miss what God is calling you to. And because of the grace of the sacraments, you will have the strength to respond in God’s time.”Live your call to love daily, even before knowing your definitive vocationSister Virginia Joy stressed that holiness and vocation are lived now, through everyday acts of love, even before one enters marriage, religious life, or another permanent state.She asked those gathered: “Where are we called to love?”“It’s not a complicated question. All the love happens right where God has you — with family, friends, roommates. We are each given so many opportunities to love every day. You might not be in your definitive vocation right now or five years from now, but your call to love is now. Your call to make a gift of yourself is now,” she said.Recognize your unique giftsEspecially for women, discerning vocation involves recognizing the “uniquely feminine” capacity for receptivity, generosity, spiritual maternity, and leading others to God, Sister Virginia Joy explained.“As women, we possess a unique capacity for love … Written into our very makeup by design, we as women have space for another, room for another. And the physical capacity — we’ve heard this over the days — the physical capacity to receive and carry life sheds a much deeper reality within the heart of each woman,” she said. “Our bodies and souls are intimately connected and together they tell us something — that our love is receptive, sensitive, generous, maternal.”Observe where your heart becomes undivided and freeA key sign of vocation is interior freedom and unity of heart, where fear gives way to peace and clarity about where, as Sister Virginia Joy said, one is called “to make a gift of oneself in a total way.”She shared that while discerning her own vocation her heart was divided — seeing the beauty in both married life and religious life. It wasn’t until she asked in prayer, “What do you want, Lord?” while on retreat with the Sisters of Life that she heard him say, “You. You. All of you for myself.”“And in an instant, my heart was undivided,” she recalled. “I knew where I was being called to give my love and my life, and I felt more free than I ever had.”“Your love story is going to be perfectly unique to you,” Sister Virginia Joy added. “God has been preparing something far beyond your expectations and he desires your freedom to respond with an undivided heart. Whether it be marriage, religious life, lay life, there is no doubt he wants you and your unique love. God loves you.”
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SEEK 2026: 7 ways to discern your vocation #Catholic From left to right: Sister Catherine Joy, Sister Virginia Joy, and Sister Israel Rose of the Sisters of Life at SEEK 2026 in Denver. | Credit: Francesca Fenton/EWTN News Jan 7, 2026 / 06:00 am (CNA). Hundreds of young women filled a ballroom on Jan. 4 at the 2026 SEEK Conference in Denver to hear Sister Virginia Joy Cotter, SV, discuss how to follow God’s call and determine one’s vocation.“When we think about vocation, it’s ultimately a call to love and be loved,” Sister Virginia Joy said during her talk, titled “The Adventure of the Yes: Following God’s Call.”“Growing up, or even now, you’re probably asked, ‘What are you going to do when you grow up? What’s your major? What do you want to do with your life?’” she said. “I would guess no one has probably asked you, ‘What are you going to do with your love? How do you plan to make a gift of yourself?’ But these are the questions that sit behind a vocation.”“For some, the word vocation might be completely foreign to you. For others, maybe it provokes a stream of emotions from wonder to anticipation to anxiety. Whatever it means to you, it’s good to take stock of where it sits with you right now and open your heart to whatever God wants to give you this morning.”Sister Virginia Joy shared that “ultimately, our vocation is not a problem to be fixed or a riddle to be solved … Vocation is deeply relational, personal, and distinct. It comes from the Latin ‘vocare,’ meaning to call, to name, to summon. There’s one who calls and there’s one who responds. It’s a relationship between each individual and God.”Here are seven ways a person can discern his or her vocation based on Sister Virginia Joy’s talk:Pay attention to where and how you are called to loveSister Virginia Joy shared that the questions behind one’s vocation are fundamentally about “what are you going to do with your love” and how you are called to “make a gift of yourself,” not merely what career or role you will have.Receive God’s love firstShe emphasized that the prerequisite for hearing God’s call is first receiving his love, since vocation flows from a relationship.“When I think about a vocational call, I think of two things: First, God is the one who calls, and it is always a call of love. Second, we are the ones to respond to that call and to love in return. So first, the prerequisite to hearing God’s call is receiving his love,” Sister Virginia Joy said.Develop a real prayer life and speak honestly to GodGod makes himself known in prayer, especially when a person speaks from the heart — expressing longing, confusion, loneliness, or desire for meaning.Sister Virginia Joy highlighted that “God is looking for a place to break in and make himself known. I trust you’ve experienced it here at SEEK. It’s real. He’s real. And he is in pursuit of your heart. He knows you and he desires that you come to know him. This happens in prayer.”“But prayer can be challenging because we’re used to instant gratification. We want to see results. And yet relationships, they’re not about results,” she added. “Relationships take time, patience, and trust. Sometimes I think we settle or we allow ourselves to get distracted because real love means facing our weakness and searching for the Lord in times of loneliness, doubt, and even pain.”Sister Virginia Joy Cotter, SV, during her talk on Jan. 4, 2026, at the SEEK conference in Denver. | Credit: Francesca Fenton/EWTN NewsStay close to the sacraments, especially confession and the EucharistSister Virginia Joy emphasized that living in grace and regularly receiving the sacraments helps ensure that a person does not miss God’s call and gains the strength to respond in his time. She shared with those gathered that she has always found herself making life decisions after “a good confession — decisions to move across the country, decisions to become a missionary, decisions to accept a particular job or begin or end a dating relationship.”“I know there can be a lot of fear about somehow missing what God is calling me to,” Sister Virginia Joy said. “And I just want to crush that fear because the truth is if you’re staying close to the sacraments, if you’re living in grace, you will not miss what God is calling you to. And because of the grace of the sacraments, you will have the strength to respond in God’s time.”Live your call to love daily, even before knowing your definitive vocationSister Virginia Joy stressed that holiness and vocation are lived now, through everyday acts of love, even before one enters marriage, religious life, or another permanent state.She asked those gathered: “Where are we called to love?”“It’s not a complicated question. All the love happens right where God has you — with family, friends, roommates. We are each given so many opportunities to love every day. You might not be in your definitive vocation right now or five years from now, but your call to love is now. Your call to make a gift of yourself is now,” she said.Recognize your unique giftsEspecially for women, discerning vocation involves recognizing the “uniquely feminine” capacity for receptivity, generosity, spiritual maternity, and leading others to God, Sister Virginia Joy explained.“As women, we possess a unique capacity for love … Written into our very makeup by design, we as women have space for another, room for another. And the physical capacity — we’ve heard this over the days — the physical capacity to receive and carry life sheds a much deeper reality within the heart of each woman,” she said. “Our bodies and souls are intimately connected and together they tell us something — that our love is receptive, sensitive, generous, maternal.”Observe where your heart becomes undivided and freeA key sign of vocation is interior freedom and unity of heart, where fear gives way to peace and clarity about where, as Sister Virginia Joy said, one is called “to make a gift of oneself in a total way.”She shared that while discerning her own vocation her heart was divided — seeing the beauty in both married life and religious life. It wasn’t until she asked in prayer, “What do you want, Lord?” while on retreat with the Sisters of Life that she heard him say, “You. You. All of you for myself.”“And in an instant, my heart was undivided,” she recalled. “I knew where I was being called to give my love and my life, and I felt more free than I ever had.”“Your love story is going to be perfectly unique to you,” Sister Virginia Joy added. “God has been preparing something far beyond your expectations and he desires your freedom to respond with an undivided heart. Whether it be marriage, religious life, lay life, there is no doubt he wants you and your unique love. God loves you.”

unitedyam

From left to right: Sister Catherine Joy, Sister Virginia Joy, and Sister Israel Rose of the Sisters of Life at SEEK 2026 in Denver. | Credit: Francesca Fenton/EWTN News

Jan 7, 2026 / 06:00 am (CNA).

Hundreds of young women filled a ballroom on Jan. 4 at the 2026 SEEK Conference in Denver to hear Sister Virginia Joy Cotter, SV, discuss how to follow God’s call and determine one’s vocation.

“When we think about vocation, it’s ultimately a call to love and be loved,” Sister Virginia Joy said during her talk, titled “The Adventure of the Yes: Following God’s Call.”

“Growing up, or even now, you’re probably asked, ‘What are you going to do when you grow up? What’s your major? What do you want to do with your life?’” she said. “I would guess no one has probably asked you, ‘What are you going to do with your love? How do you plan to make a gift of yourself?’ But these are the questions that sit behind a vocation.”

“For some, the word vocation might be completely foreign to you. For others, maybe it provokes a stream of emotions from wonder to anticipation to anxiety. Whatever it means to you, it’s good to take stock of where it sits with you right now and open your heart to whatever God wants to give you this morning.”

Sister Virginia Joy shared that “ultimately, our vocation is not a problem to be fixed or a riddle to be solved … Vocation is deeply relational, personal, and distinct. It comes from the Latin ‘vocare,’ meaning to call, to name, to summon. There’s one who calls and there’s one who responds. It’s a relationship between each individual and God.”

Here are seven ways a person can discern his or her vocation based on Sister Virginia Joy’s talk:

Pay attention to where and how you are called to love

Sister Virginia Joy shared that the questions behind one’s vocation are fundamentally about “what are you going to do with your love” and how you are called to “make a gift of yourself,” not merely what career or role you will have.

Receive God’s love first

She emphasized that the prerequisite for hearing God’s call is first receiving his love, since vocation flows from a relationship.

“When I think about a vocational call, I think of two things: First, God is the one who calls, and it is always a call of love. Second, we are the ones to respond to that call and to love in return. So first, the prerequisite to hearing God’s call is receiving his love,” Sister Virginia Joy said.

Develop a real prayer life and speak honestly to God

God makes himself known in prayer, especially when a person speaks from the heart — expressing longing, confusion, loneliness, or desire for meaning.

Sister Virginia Joy highlighted that “God is looking for a place to break in and make himself known. I trust you’ve experienced it here at SEEK. It’s real. He’s real. And he is in pursuit of your heart. He knows you and he desires that you come to know him. This happens in prayer.”

“But prayer can be challenging because we’re used to instant gratification. We want to see results. And yet relationships, they’re not about results,” she added. “Relationships take time, patience, and trust. Sometimes I think we settle or we allow ourselves to get distracted because real love means facing our weakness and searching for the Lord in times of loneliness, doubt, and even pain.”

Sister Virginia Joy Cotter, SV, during her talk on Jan. 4, 2026, at the SEEK conference in Denver. | Credit: Francesca Fenton/EWTN News
Sister Virginia Joy Cotter, SV, during her talk on Jan. 4, 2026, at the SEEK conference in Denver. | Credit: Francesca Fenton/EWTN News

Stay close to the sacraments, especially confession and the Eucharist

Sister Virginia Joy emphasized that living in grace and regularly receiving the sacraments helps ensure that a person does not miss God’s call and gains the strength to respond in his time.

She shared with those gathered that she has always found herself making life decisions after “a good confession — decisions to move across the country, decisions to become a missionary, decisions to accept a particular job or begin or end a dating relationship.”

“I know there can be a lot of fear about somehow missing what God is calling me to,” Sister Virginia Joy said. “And I just want to crush that fear because the truth is if you’re staying close to the sacraments, if you’re living in grace, you will not miss what God is calling you to. And because of the grace of the sacraments, you will have the strength to respond in God’s time.”

Live your call to love daily, even before knowing your definitive vocation

Sister Virginia Joy stressed that holiness and vocation are lived now, through everyday acts of love, even before one enters marriage, religious life, or another permanent state.

She asked those gathered: “Where are we called to love?”

“It’s not a complicated question. All the love happens right where God has you — with family, friends, roommates. We are each given so many opportunities to love every day. You might not be in your definitive vocation right now or five years from now, but your call to love is now. Your call to make a gift of yourself is now,” she said.

Recognize your unique gifts

Especially for women, discerning vocation involves recognizing the “uniquely feminine” capacity for receptivity, generosity, spiritual maternity, and leading others to God, Sister Virginia Joy explained.

“As women, we possess a unique capacity for love … Written into our very makeup by design, we as women have space for another, room for another. And the physical capacity — we’ve heard this over the days — the physical capacity to receive and carry life sheds a much deeper reality within the heart of each woman,” she said. “Our bodies and souls are intimately connected and together they tell us something — that our love is receptive, sensitive, generous, maternal.”

Observe where your heart becomes undivided and free

A key sign of vocation is interior freedom and unity of heart, where fear gives way to peace and clarity about where, as Sister Virginia Joy said, one is called “to make a gift of oneself in a total way.”

She shared that while discerning her own vocation her heart was divided — seeing the beauty in both married life and religious life. It wasn’t until she asked in prayer, “What do you want, Lord?” while on retreat with the Sisters of Life that she heard him say, “You. You. All of you for myself.”

“And in an instant, my heart was undivided,” she recalled. “I knew where I was being called to give my love and my life, and I felt more free than I ever had.”

“Your love story is going to be perfectly unique to you,” Sister Virginia Joy added. “God has been preparing something far beyond your expectations and he desires your freedom to respond with an undivided heart. Whether it be marriage, religious life, lay life, there is no doubt he wants you and your unique love. God loves you.”

Read More
Catholic singles seek faithful connections at huge SEEK 2026 speed dating event #Catholic Young Catholics gather for a possibly record-breaking large speed dating event in Columbus, Ohio, on Jan. 4, 2026. | Credit: Gigi Duncan/EWTN News / null Jan 5, 2026 / 16:41 pm (CNA). “Do you believe in miracles, or should we start with coffee?”Young Catholics gathered for a possibly record-breaking large speed dating event in Columbus, Ohio, on Jan. 4. About 2,500 students participated in speed dating at SEEK 2026, reflecting both a thirst for genuine connection and a willingness to step outside of comfort zones in pursuit of meaningful relationships. At a time when dating culture often seems dominated by casual hookups, social media pressures, and uncertainty, SEEK 2026 participants explored a wide range of topics, from personal faith to vocational discernment. The event broke the world record for the largest speed dating event based on earlier entries in Guinness World Records.About 26,000 people attended the SEEK 2026 conference held simultaneously in Columbus, Denver, and Fort Worth, Texas, organized by  FOCUS, a Catholic group that sends missionaries to college campuses and parishes.In Columbus, which drew about 16,000 attendees, Emily Wilson, a Catholic author and YouTuber, offered students a framework for approaching dating with clarity and purpose ahead of the speed dating event on Jan. 4. 6 principles for intentional Catholic dating Wilson emphasized six key points for navigating dating with freedom, dignity, and an ultimate focus on God.1. Go on one date — and let others do the same.“Dating is the process of discernment,” Wilson said. “You do not need to know if you’re going to marry someone before saying yes to a second date. Jesus wants you to be calm.” The idea is simple: Allow yourself and others to explore relationships without pressure, gossip, or unrealistic expectations. 2. Use the word “date” and be clear and intentional.Clarity matters, especially in an age where sending a “WYD” (what are you doing?) text has become common. “If you want to stand out, be clear. Use the word ‘date,’” Wilson told the audience. “Call her. Say, ‘I’d love to take you on a date.’ Yes, it’s a risk, but many marriages begin with that courage.”3. If God calls you to marriage, college is not the only place to meet your spouse.Wilson encouraged young people to resist the “ring by spring” pressures. “Focus on becoming the most beautiful version of yourself — the person God is calling you to be right now,” she said. God’s timing, she emphasized, is unique for everyone.4. Let go of the idea that your future spouse will perfectly match your type.While attraction is important, deeper qualities matter most. “When life gets hard,” Wilson noted, one will not be so fixated on physical appearance but rather be thanking God that their spouse is so “selfless, giving, kind, loving, virtuous, and holy.”5. Guard your heart.“Peace in dating comes from making hard choices to protect your heart,” she said, quoting Philippians 4:7: “The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Making intentional decisions is a form of self-respect, not aggression.6. Do not apologize for your standards.Wilson urged students to stand firm in their faith and virtues: “Say it with confidence. ‘I’m looking for a virtuous Catholic who loves the Eucharist, desires the sacraments, and wants a faithful marriage.’ There is nothing to apologize for.”Breaking records, building connectionsThe “Catholic Speed Dating Event with Candid” drew lines stretching across several exhibit halls down the Greater Columbus Convention Center. Students repeatedly noted that such spaces provide rare, faith-aligned opportunities to meet new people without immediate expectation.Participants described the speed dating event as both countercultural and reassuring — a response to frustrations many feel with modern dating. For Clemson University student Jonathan Brinker, the shared Catholic identity immediately changed the tone of conversations. “It was nice to meet people who have similar values,” he said. “That makes the conversation deeper and more meaningful.”That sense of ease stood out for Shippensburg University student Joseph Striggle as well. “Events like this help you realize dating isn’t as intimidating as it’s made out to be,” he said. “It’s just having a normal conversation with another person.”His classmate, Tom Gehman, said the event addressed deeper concerns about today’s dating culture. “A lot of people don’t share the same worldview or end goals, especially when it comes to faith and relationships,” he noted. “People want reassurance that there are other people who share their values.” Expressing a strong dislike of social media, Gehman added that he desires “to meet someone face-to-face and ask them out directly,” calling the event “good practice” for doing so.Students from Western Kentucky University echoed this sentiment as well as an emphasis on lowering pressure while remaining intentional. “Going on a first date doesn’t mean you have to marry that person,” Mary Pikar said. “It’s just about getting to know each other.” Karley Solorzano added that high expectations can sometimes lead to inaction. “We overthink dating, especially as Catholics,” she said. “Events like this can give us a way to take chances and trust that God can surprise us.”For some students, simply being surrounded by others who take faith seriously was encouraging. Seton Hall University student Emily Castillo said observing faithful behavior — even in her male friendships — gave her hope. “Seeing that makes me think what it could be like with someone who genuinely loves and cares for me,” she said. Maria Notario added: “A shared faith allows relationships to go deeper than surface-level connections. Everyone [at the event] is single and Catholic; there’s at least some foundation there.”Short conversations also proved meaningful. Kylee Jackels from Winona State University said having a designated space to meet people — even for a few minutes at a time — mattered. “It’s valuable to have a low-pressure environment where people can actually talk,” she said. “There aren’t many single Christians where I’m from,” Lindsay Moen added. “It was nice to be in this space with similar people without crazy expectations.” The two students did see immediate results, however, as their friend was asked out on a date while waiting in line for the event to begin.Others said the event helped them step outside their comfort zones. Anna Whittenburg of Bowling Green State University referenced Emily Wilson’s earlier point of maintaining standards, sharing that this was something she kept in mind before going into the speed dating event. “Hearing that reaffirmed by someone like Emily Wilson made a difference. I don’t have to apologize for wanting a good, healthy Catholic relationship,” she said. Her twin sister, Elaina, added that the experience was practical as well as affirming: “It was a good way to practice talking to new people.”For University of Alabama student Jay Zito, this event challenged initial hesitation. “We were kind of dragged into it by a friend,” he admitted. “But I’m glad we were. In an age where men can be fearful of approaching women for several reasons, this space gave people permission to try and make meaningful connections.” His friend Landon McClellan added that the in-person nature of the event was crucial. “Hookup culture is everywhere today, and things like social media, filters, and AI mess with expectations and confidence,” he said. “Dating doesn’t have to be scary; it can be a really good thing that will lead to sacramental marriages.”Candid Dating, a platform co-founded by Taylor O’Brien, led the speed dating event. Candid hosts weekly virtual speed dating for Catholic singles, and SEEK provided a chance to create real connections in person. “Success can look different for everyone. For some, it’s gaining experience and confidence in talking to others — men or women,” O’Brien said. “For others, it might be building the courage to ask for someone’s number or feeling secure and confident present themselves as a whole person.”She added that another goal for some could be marriage, reflecting the previous year’s several couples who have since become engaged. Hope for the futureWilson said the weekend confirmed what she has seen in her work with Catholic singles: a deep desire for holy, intentional relationships. “There has been a real breakdown in communication, and a lot of fear has crept in,” she said. That fear, she described, is not from the Lord but rather the enemy who “wants us stuck in panic or overwhelm” so that we don’t “step into what the Lord desires for us.”Drawing on her experience with Sacred Spark, a Catholic dating platform she co-founded, Wilson expressed optimism. “We now have tens of thousands of Catholic singles on the app who are intentionally seeking meaningful relationships, even if it starts digitally — just making that initial connection.”She added that in the coming years, “we’re going to see a revival of beautiful sacramental marriages, with Catholic singles who are intentional, communicative, open, honest, and clear.”“After things have become as complicated as they have, there’s really nowhere to go but up,” she said. “For these young Catholics desiring relationships, I really stand on hope.”
Read More

Catholic singles seek faithful connections at huge SEEK 2026 speed dating event #Catholic Young Catholics gather for a possibly record-breaking large speed dating event in Columbus, Ohio, on Jan. 4, 2026. | Credit: Gigi Duncan/EWTN News / null Jan 5, 2026 / 16:41 pm (CNA). “Do you believe in miracles, or should we start with coffee?”Young Catholics gathered for a possibly record-breaking large speed dating event in Columbus, Ohio, on Jan. 4. About 2,500 students participated in speed dating at SEEK 2026, reflecting both a thirst for genuine connection and a willingness to step outside of comfort zones in pursuit of meaningful relationships. At a time when dating culture often seems dominated by casual hookups, social media pressures, and uncertainty, SEEK 2026 participants explored a wide range of topics, from personal faith to vocational discernment. The event broke the world record for the largest speed dating event based on earlier entries in Guinness World Records.About 26,000 people attended the SEEK 2026 conference held simultaneously in Columbus, Denver, and Fort Worth, Texas, organized by  FOCUS, a Catholic group that sends missionaries to college campuses and parishes.In Columbus, which drew about 16,000 attendees, Emily Wilson, a Catholic author and YouTuber, offered students a framework for approaching dating with clarity and purpose ahead of the speed dating event on Jan. 4. 6 principles for intentional Catholic dating Wilson emphasized six key points for navigating dating with freedom, dignity, and an ultimate focus on God.1. Go on one date — and let others do the same.“Dating is the process of discernment,” Wilson said. “You do not need to know if you’re going to marry someone before saying yes to a second date. Jesus wants you to be calm.” The idea is simple: Allow yourself and others to explore relationships without pressure, gossip, or unrealistic expectations. 2. Use the word “date” and be clear and intentional.Clarity matters, especially in an age where sending a “WYD” (what are you doing?) text has become common. “If you want to stand out, be clear. Use the word ‘date,’” Wilson told the audience. “Call her. Say, ‘I’d love to take you on a date.’ Yes, it’s a risk, but many marriages begin with that courage.”3. If God calls you to marriage, college is not the only place to meet your spouse.Wilson encouraged young people to resist the “ring by spring” pressures. “Focus on becoming the most beautiful version of yourself — the person God is calling you to be right now,” she said. God’s timing, she emphasized, is unique for everyone.4. Let go of the idea that your future spouse will perfectly match your type.While attraction is important, deeper qualities matter most. “When life gets hard,” Wilson noted, one will not be so fixated on physical appearance but rather be thanking God that their spouse is so “selfless, giving, kind, loving, virtuous, and holy.”5. Guard your heart.“Peace in dating comes from making hard choices to protect your heart,” she said, quoting Philippians 4:7: “The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Making intentional decisions is a form of self-respect, not aggression.6. Do not apologize for your standards.Wilson urged students to stand firm in their faith and virtues: “Say it with confidence. ‘I’m looking for a virtuous Catholic who loves the Eucharist, desires the sacraments, and wants a faithful marriage.’ There is nothing to apologize for.”Breaking records, building connectionsThe “Catholic Speed Dating Event with Candid” drew lines stretching across several exhibit halls down the Greater Columbus Convention Center. Students repeatedly noted that such spaces provide rare, faith-aligned opportunities to meet new people without immediate expectation.Participants described the speed dating event as both countercultural and reassuring — a response to frustrations many feel with modern dating. For Clemson University student Jonathan Brinker, the shared Catholic identity immediately changed the tone of conversations. “It was nice to meet people who have similar values,” he said. “That makes the conversation deeper and more meaningful.”That sense of ease stood out for Shippensburg University student Joseph Striggle as well. “Events like this help you realize dating isn’t as intimidating as it’s made out to be,” he said. “It’s just having a normal conversation with another person.”His classmate, Tom Gehman, said the event addressed deeper concerns about today’s dating culture. “A lot of people don’t share the same worldview or end goals, especially when it comes to faith and relationships,” he noted. “People want reassurance that there are other people who share their values.” Expressing a strong dislike of social media, Gehman added that he desires “to meet someone face-to-face and ask them out directly,” calling the event “good practice” for doing so.Students from Western Kentucky University echoed this sentiment as well as an emphasis on lowering pressure while remaining intentional. “Going on a first date doesn’t mean you have to marry that person,” Mary Pikar said. “It’s just about getting to know each other.” Karley Solorzano added that high expectations can sometimes lead to inaction. “We overthink dating, especially as Catholics,” she said. “Events like this can give us a way to take chances and trust that God can surprise us.”For some students, simply being surrounded by others who take faith seriously was encouraging. Seton Hall University student Emily Castillo said observing faithful behavior — even in her male friendships — gave her hope. “Seeing that makes me think what it could be like with someone who genuinely loves and cares for me,” she said. Maria Notario added: “A shared faith allows relationships to go deeper than surface-level connections. Everyone [at the event] is single and Catholic; there’s at least some foundation there.”Short conversations also proved meaningful. Kylee Jackels from Winona State University said having a designated space to meet people — even for a few minutes at a time — mattered. “It’s valuable to have a low-pressure environment where people can actually talk,” she said. “There aren’t many single Christians where I’m from,” Lindsay Moen added. “It was nice to be in this space with similar people without crazy expectations.” The two students did see immediate results, however, as their friend was asked out on a date while waiting in line for the event to begin.Others said the event helped them step outside their comfort zones. Anna Whittenburg of Bowling Green State University referenced Emily Wilson’s earlier point of maintaining standards, sharing that this was something she kept in mind before going into the speed dating event. “Hearing that reaffirmed by someone like Emily Wilson made a difference. I don’t have to apologize for wanting a good, healthy Catholic relationship,” she said. Her twin sister, Elaina, added that the experience was practical as well as affirming: “It was a good way to practice talking to new people.”For University of Alabama student Jay Zito, this event challenged initial hesitation. “We were kind of dragged into it by a friend,” he admitted. “But I’m glad we were. In an age where men can be fearful of approaching women for several reasons, this space gave people permission to try and make meaningful connections.” His friend Landon McClellan added that the in-person nature of the event was crucial. “Hookup culture is everywhere today, and things like social media, filters, and AI mess with expectations and confidence,” he said. “Dating doesn’t have to be scary; it can be a really good thing that will lead to sacramental marriages.”Candid Dating, a platform co-founded by Taylor O’Brien, led the speed dating event. Candid hosts weekly virtual speed dating for Catholic singles, and SEEK provided a chance to create real connections in person. “Success can look different for everyone. For some, it’s gaining experience and confidence in talking to others — men or women,” O’Brien said. “For others, it might be building the courage to ask for someone’s number or feeling secure and confident present themselves as a whole person.”She added that another goal for some could be marriage, reflecting the previous year’s several couples who have since become engaged. Hope for the futureWilson said the weekend confirmed what she has seen in her work with Catholic singles: a deep desire for holy, intentional relationships. “There has been a real breakdown in communication, and a lot of fear has crept in,” she said. That fear, she described, is not from the Lord but rather the enemy who “wants us stuck in panic or overwhelm” so that we don’t “step into what the Lord desires for us.”Drawing on her experience with Sacred Spark, a Catholic dating platform she co-founded, Wilson expressed optimism. “We now have tens of thousands of Catholic singles on the app who are intentionally seeking meaningful relationships, even if it starts digitally — just making that initial connection.”She added that in the coming years, “we’re going to see a revival of beautiful sacramental marriages, with Catholic singles who are intentional, communicative, open, honest, and clear.”“After things have become as complicated as they have, there’s really nowhere to go but up,” she said. “For these young Catholics desiring relationships, I really stand on hope.”

unitedyam

Young Catholics gather for a possibly record-breaking large speed dating event in Columbus, Ohio, on Jan. 4, 2026. | Credit: Gigi Duncan/EWTN News / null

Jan 5, 2026 / 16:41 pm (CNA).

“Do you believe in miracles, or should we start with coffee?”

Young Catholics gathered for a possibly record-breaking large speed dating event in Columbus, Ohio, on Jan. 4. 

About 2,500 students participated in speed dating at SEEK 2026, reflecting both a thirst for genuine connection and a willingness to step outside of comfort zones in pursuit of meaningful relationships. At a time when dating culture often seems dominated by casual hookups, social media pressures, and uncertainty, SEEK 2026 participants explored a wide range of topics, from personal faith to vocational discernment. 

The event broke the world record for the largest speed dating event based on earlier entries in Guinness World Records.

About 26,000 people attended the SEEK 2026 conference held simultaneously in Columbus, Denver, and Fort Worth, Texas, organized by  FOCUS, a Catholic group that sends missionaries to college campuses and parishes.

In Columbus, which drew about 16,000 attendees, Emily Wilson, a Catholic author and YouTuber, offered students a framework for approaching dating with clarity and purpose ahead of the speed dating event on Jan. 4. 

6 principles for intentional Catholic dating

Wilson emphasized six key points for navigating dating with freedom, dignity, and an ultimate focus on God.

1. Go on one date — and let others do the same.

“Dating is the process of discernment,” Wilson said. “You do not need to know if you’re going to marry someone before saying yes to a second date. Jesus wants you to be calm.” The idea is simple: Allow yourself and others to explore relationships without pressure, gossip, or unrealistic expectations. 

2. Use the word “date” and be clear and intentional.

Clarity matters, especially in an age where sending a “WYD” (what are you doing?) text has become common. “If you want to stand out, be clear. Use the word ‘date,’” Wilson told the audience. “Call her. Say, ‘I’d love to take you on a date.’ Yes, it’s a risk, but many marriages begin with that courage.”

3. If God calls you to marriage, college is not the only place to meet your spouse.

Wilson encouraged young people to resist the “ring by spring” pressures. “Focus on becoming the most beautiful version of yourself — the person God is calling you to be right now,” she said. God’s timing, she emphasized, is unique for everyone.

4. Let go of the idea that your future spouse will perfectly match your type.

While attraction is important, deeper qualities matter most. “When life gets hard,” Wilson noted, one will not be so fixated on physical appearance but rather be thanking God that their spouse is so “selfless, giving, kind, loving, virtuous, and holy.”

5. Guard your heart.

“Peace in dating comes from making hard choices to protect your heart,” she said, quoting Philippians 4:7: “The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Making intentional decisions is a form of self-respect, not aggression.

6. Do not apologize for your standards.

Wilson urged students to stand firm in their faith and virtues: “Say it with confidence. ‘I’m looking for a virtuous Catholic who loves the Eucharist, desires the sacraments, and wants a faithful marriage.’ There is nothing to apologize for.”

Breaking records, building connections

The “Catholic Speed Dating Event with Candid” drew lines stretching across several exhibit halls down the Greater Columbus Convention Center. Students repeatedly noted that such spaces provide rare, faith-aligned opportunities to meet new people without immediate expectation.

Participants described the speed dating event as both countercultural and reassuring — a response to frustrations many feel with modern dating. For Clemson University student Jonathan Brinker, the shared Catholic identity immediately changed the tone of conversations. “It was nice to meet people who have similar values,” he said. “That makes the conversation deeper and more meaningful.”

That sense of ease stood out for Shippensburg University student Joseph Striggle as well. “Events like this help you realize dating isn’t as intimidating as it’s made out to be,” he said. “It’s just having a normal conversation with another person.”

His classmate, Tom Gehman, said the event addressed deeper concerns about today’s dating culture. “A lot of people don’t share the same worldview or end goals, especially when it comes to faith and relationships,” he noted. “People want reassurance that there are other people who share their values.”

Expressing a strong dislike of social media, Gehman added that he desires “to meet someone face-to-face and ask them out directly,” calling the event “good practice” for doing so.

Students from Western Kentucky University echoed this sentiment as well as an emphasis on lowering pressure while remaining intentional. “Going on a first date doesn’t mean you have to marry that person,” Mary Pikar said. “It’s just about getting to know each other.”

Karley Solorzano added that high expectations can sometimes lead to inaction. “We overthink dating, especially as Catholics,” she said. “Events like this can give us a way to take chances and trust that God can surprise us.”

For some students, simply being surrounded by others who take faith seriously was encouraging. Seton Hall University student Emily Castillo said observing faithful behavior — even in her male friendships — gave her hope. “Seeing that makes me think what it could be like with someone who genuinely loves and cares for me,” she said.

Maria Notario added: “A shared faith allows relationships to go deeper than surface-level connections. Everyone [at the event] is single and Catholic; there’s at least some foundation there.”

Short conversations also proved meaningful. Kylee Jackels from Winona State University said having a designated space to meet people — even for a few minutes at a time — mattered. “It’s valuable to have a low-pressure environment where people can actually talk,” she said.

“There aren’t many single Christians where I’m from,” Lindsay Moen added. “It was nice to be in this space with similar people without crazy expectations.” The two students did see immediate results, however, as their friend was asked out on a date while waiting in line for the event to begin.

Others said the event helped them step outside their comfort zones. Anna Whittenburg of Bowling Green State University referenced Emily Wilson’s earlier point of maintaining standards, sharing that this was something she kept in mind before going into the speed dating event.

“Hearing that reaffirmed by someone like Emily Wilson made a difference. I don’t have to apologize for wanting a good, healthy Catholic relationship,” she said. Her twin sister, Elaina, added that the experience was practical as well as affirming: “It was a good way to practice talking to new people.”

For University of Alabama student Jay Zito, this event challenged initial hesitation. “We were kind of dragged into it by a friend,” he admitted. “But I’m glad we were. In an age where men can be fearful of approaching women for several reasons, this space gave people permission to try and make meaningful connections.”

His friend Landon McClellan added that the in-person nature of the event was crucial. “Hookup culture is everywhere today, and things like social media, filters, and AI mess with expectations and confidence,” he said. “Dating doesn’t have to be scary; it can be a really good thing that will lead to sacramental marriages.”

Candid Dating, a platform co-founded by Taylor O’Brien, led the speed dating event. Candid hosts weekly virtual speed dating for Catholic singles, and SEEK provided a chance to create real connections in person. 

“Success can look different for everyone. For some, it’s gaining experience and confidence in talking to others — men or women,” O’Brien said. “For others, it might be building the courage to ask for someone’s number or feeling secure and confident present themselves as a whole person.”

She added that another goal for some could be marriage, reflecting the previous year’s several couples who have since become engaged. 

Hope for the future

Wilson said the weekend confirmed what she has seen in her work with Catholic singles: a deep desire for holy, intentional relationships. 

“There has been a real breakdown in communication, and a lot of fear has crept in,” she said. That fear, she described, is not from the Lord but rather the enemy who “wants us stuck in panic or overwhelm” so that we don’t “step into what the Lord desires for us.”

Drawing on her experience with Sacred Spark, a Catholic dating platform she co-founded, Wilson expressed optimism. “We now have tens of thousands of Catholic singles on the app who are intentionally seeking meaningful relationships, even if it starts digitally — just making that initial connection.”

She added that in the coming years, “we’re going to see a revival of beautiful sacramental marriages, with Catholic singles who are intentional, communicative, open, honest, and clear.”

“After things have become as complicated as they have, there’s really nowhere to go but up,” she said. “For these young Catholics desiring relationships, I really stand on hope.”

Read More