Month: March 2026

‘Good News, You’re Finally Useful,’ Says Trump As He Sends Aquaman To Strait Of Hormuz #BabylonBee – WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced a plan on Monday to open up the Strait of Hormuz later this week by sending in Aquaman, a superhero he claims is finally useful.
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‘Good News, You’re Finally Useful,’ Says Trump As He Sends Aquaman To Strait Of Hormuz #BabylonBee – WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced a plan on Monday to open up the Strait of Hormuz later this week by sending in Aquaman, a superhero he claims is finally useful.

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced a plan on Monday to open up the Strait of Hormuz later this week by sending in Aquaman, a superhero he claims is finally useful.

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Scientists Invent Revolutionary Kids’ Bike That Uses Pedals Instead Of Electric Power #BabylonBee – CAMBRIDGE, MA — Engineers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology reportedly developed an innovative new children’s bike that uses pedals instead of electricity for power.
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Scientists Invent Revolutionary Kids’ Bike That Uses Pedals Instead Of Electric Power #BabylonBee – CAMBRIDGE, MA — Engineers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology reportedly developed an innovative new children’s bike that uses pedals instead of electricity for power.

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CAMBRIDGE, MA — Engineers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology reportedly developed an innovative new children’s bike that uses pedals instead of electricity for power.

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Picture of the day Royal angelfish (Pygoplites diacanthus), Ras Muhammad National Park, Red Sea, Egypt. The body of the royal angelfish is moderately elongate, is very compressed and can reach a length of up to 25 centimetres (9.8 in) It’s widely distributed throughout the Indo-Pacific and can be found in the Red Sea and Indian Ocean around East Africa and the Maldives, stretching to the Tuamoto Islands, New Caledonia, and Great Barrier Reef. The royal angelfish occurs at depths ranging from 0 to 80m (0 to 262 ft), in coral rich areas of lagoons, reefs, and are also often found in the vicinity of caves. It is a carnivorous species that feeds on sponges and tunicates located throughout reefs and underwater caves. They are a non-migratory species that can be found solitary, in pairs, or groups. #ImageOfTheDay
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Picture of the day Royal angelfish (Pygoplites diacanthus), Ras Muhammad National Park, Red Sea, Egypt. The body of the royal angelfish is moderately elongate, is very compressed and can reach a length of up to 25 centimetres (9.8 in) It’s widely distributed throughout the Indo-Pacific and can be found in the Red Sea and Indian Ocean around East Africa and the Maldives, stretching to the Tuamoto Islands, New Caledonia, and Great Barrier Reef. The royal angelfish occurs at depths ranging from 0 to 80m (0 to 262 ft), in coral rich areas of lagoons, reefs, and are also often found in the vicinity of caves. It is a carnivorous species that feeds on sponges and tunicates located throughout reefs and underwater caves. They are a non-migratory species that can be found solitary, in pairs, or groups. #ImageOfTheDay

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Picture of the day
Royal angelfish (Pygoplites diacanthus), Ras Muhammad National Park, Red Sea, Egypt. The body of the royal angelfish is moderately elongate, is very compressed and can reach a length of up to 25 centimetres (9.8 in) It’s widely distributed throughout the Indo-Pacific and can be found in the Red Sea and Indian Ocean around East Africa and the Maldives, stretching to the Tuamoto Islands, New Caledonia, and Great Barrier Reef. The royal angelfish occurs at depths ranging from 0 to 80m (0 to 262 ft), in coral rich areas of lagoons, reefs, and are also often found in the vicinity of caves. It is a carnivorous species that feeds on sponges and tunicates located throughout reefs and underwater caves. They are a non-migratory species that can be found solitary, in pairs, or groups.
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Sendoff for Artemis II Crew – From left to right, NASA astronauts Andre Douglas, Victor Glover, and Christina Koch, CSA (Canadian Space Agency) astronauts Jenni Gibbons, NASA astronaut Reid Wiseman, and CSA astronaut Jeremy Hansen pose for a photo before the Artemis II crew proceed to a media event on March 27, 2026.
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Sendoff for Artemis II Crew – From left to right, NASA astronauts Andre Douglas, Victor Glover, and Christina Koch, CSA (Canadian Space Agency) astronauts Jenni Gibbons, NASA astronaut Reid Wiseman, and CSA astronaut Jeremy Hansen pose for a photo before the Artemis II crew proceed to a media event on March 27, 2026.

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From left to right, NASA astronauts Andre Douglas, Victor Glover, and Christina Koch, CSA (Canadian Space Agency) astronauts Jenni Gibbons, NASA astronaut Reid Wiseman, and CSA astronaut Jeremy Hansen pose for a photo before the Artemis II crew proceed to a media event on March 27, 2026.

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Pope Leo Explains God Does Not Listen To People Who Wage War So Long As You Don’t Count Moses, David, Joshua, Elijah, Saul, Gideon, Samson, Or Anyone Else In Bible #BabylonBee – VATICAN CITY — Pope Leo boldly proclaimed today that God does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, so long as you don’t count King David, or Joshua, or Gideon, or Samson, or Elijah, or Hezekiah, or any of those other people in the Bible.
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Pope Leo Explains God Does Not Listen To People Who Wage War So Long As You Don’t Count Moses, David, Joshua, Elijah, Saul, Gideon, Samson, Or Anyone Else In Bible #BabylonBee – VATICAN CITY — Pope Leo boldly proclaimed today that God does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, so long as you don’t count King David, or Joshua, or Gideon, or Samson, or Elijah, or Hezekiah, or any of those other people in the Bible.

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VATICAN CITY — Pope Leo boldly proclaimed today that God does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, so long as you don’t count King David, or Joshua, or Gideon, or Samson, or Elijah, or Hezekiah, or any of those other people in the Bible.

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12 Tips For Dads Babysitting Their Own Kids #BabylonBee – Don’t be alarmed, but there may be times when your wife will leave you home along with the kids for hours — or even days — on end. Knowing what to do in these situations is vital for their survival, and yours.
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12 Tips For Dads Babysitting Their Own Kids #BabylonBee – Don’t be alarmed, but there may be times when your wife will leave you home along with the kids for hours — or even days — on end. Knowing what to do in these situations is vital for their survival, and yours.

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Don’t be alarmed, but there may be times when your wife will leave you home along with the kids for hours — or even days — on end. Knowing what to do in these situations is vital for their survival, and yours.

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49 States Enact Legislation Banning Immigrants From California #BabylonBee – U.S. — To get ahead of the expected surge of migrants seeking refuge and freedom in the safety of America, 49 states banded together this week to enact legislation banning immigrants from California.
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49 States Enact Legislation Banning Immigrants From California #BabylonBee – U.S. — To get ahead of the expected surge of migrants seeking refuge and freedom in the safety of America, 49 states banded together this week to enact legislation banning immigrants from California.

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U.S. — To get ahead of the expected surge of migrants seeking refuge and freedom in the safety of America, 49 states banded together this week to enact legislation banning immigrants from California.

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Picture of the day Saint Joseph depicted holding a staff with lily blossoms and the Christ Child on a stained-glass window in the Saint Antony church in Urtijëi. Today is St. Joseph’s feast day in Western Christianity. #ImageOfTheDay
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Picture of the day Saint Joseph depicted holding a staff with lily blossoms and the Christ Child on a stained-glass window in the Saint Antony church in Urtijëi. Today is St. Joseph’s feast day in Western Christianity. #ImageOfTheDay

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Picture of the day
Saint Joseph depicted holding a staff with lily blossoms and the Christ Child on a stained-glass window in the Saint Antony church in Urtijëi. Today is St. Joseph’s feast day in Western Christianity.
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Artemis II Crew’s Suits – The Orion Crew Survival System suits that Commander Reid Wiseman, Pilot Victor Glover, and Mission Specialist Christina Koch from NASA, and Mission Specialist Jeremy Hansen from the CSA (Canadian Space Agency) will wear on the Artemis II test flight are seen in the suit-up room of the Neil A. Armstrong Operations and Checkout Building, Saturday, Jan. 17, 2026, at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

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The Orion Crew Survival System suits that Commander Reid Wiseman, Pilot Victor Glover, and Mission Specialist Christina Koch from NASA, and Mission Specialist Jeremy Hansen from the CSA (Canadian Space Agency) will wear on the Artemis II test flight are seen in the suit-up room of the Neil A. Armstrong Operations and Checkout Building, Saturday, Jan. 17, 2026, at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

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Bible Receives Modern Update With ‘Morally Gray Edition’ #BabylonBee – CLEVELAND, OH — The Bible finally received a much-needed modern update called the Morally Gray Edition, which removes all outdated black-and-white morality that was found in prior editions.
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Bible Receives Modern Update With ‘Morally Gray Edition’ #BabylonBee – CLEVELAND, OH — The Bible finally received a much-needed modern update called the Morally Gray Edition, which removes all outdated black-and-white morality that was found in prior editions.

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CLEVELAND, OH — The Bible finally received a much-needed modern update called the Morally Gray Edition, which removes all outdated black-and-white morality that was found in prior editions.

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Mysterious Investor ‘Pancy_Nelosi’ Makes Millions On Oil Trade Minutes Before Trump’s Iran Announcement #BabylonBee – WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just minutes before President Donald Trump announced a peace deal with Iran was close, a mysterious investor named "Pancy_Nelosi" placed hundreds of millions on a speculative trade that oil prices would plummet.
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Mysterious Investor ‘Pancy_Nelosi’ Makes Millions On Oil Trade Minutes Before Trump’s Iran Announcement #BabylonBee – WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just minutes before President Donald Trump announced a peace deal with Iran was close, a mysterious investor named "Pancy_Nelosi" placed hundreds of millions on a speculative trade that oil prices would plummet.

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just minutes before President Donald Trump announced a peace deal with Iran was close, a mysterious investor named "Pancy_Nelosi" placed hundreds of millions on a speculative trade that oil prices would plummet.

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Reminders of Where We’ve Been, Where We’re Going – Moon rocks are seen during a March 24, 2026, event where NASA is outlining how the agency is executing the National Space Policy and accelerating preparations for America’s return to the surface of the Moon by 2028.

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Moon rocks are seen during a March 24, 2026, event where NASA is outlining how the agency is executing the National Space Policy and accelerating preparations for America’s return to the surface of the Moon by 2028.

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Picture of the day Common cuttlefish (Sepia officinalis), Arrábida National Park, Portugal. The common cuttlefish is one of the largest and best-known cuttlefish species. They are a migratory species that spend the summer and spring inshore for spawning and then move to depths of 100 to 200m during autumn and winter. They only have a lifespan of 1–2 years and have many predators including sharks, dolphins, seals, fish, and cephalopods which includes other cuttlefish. During the day, most cuttlefish can be found buried below the substrate and fairly inactive. At night however, they are actively searching for prey and can ambush them from under the substrate. Cuttlefish are carnivorous and eat a variety of organisms including crustaceans (crabs and shrimp), small fish, molluscs (clams and snails), and sometimes other cuttlefish. #ImageOfTheDay
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Picture of the day Common cuttlefish (Sepia officinalis), Arrábida National Park, Portugal. The common cuttlefish is one of the largest and best-known cuttlefish species. They are a migratory species that spend the summer and spring inshore for spawning and then move to depths of 100 to 200m during autumn and winter. They only have a lifespan of 1–2 years and have many predators including sharks, dolphins, seals, fish, and cephalopods which includes other cuttlefish. During the day, most cuttlefish can be found buried below the substrate and fairly inactive. At night however, they are actively searching for prey and can ambush them from under the substrate. Cuttlefish are carnivorous and eat a variety of organisms including crustaceans (crabs and shrimp), small fish, molluscs (clams and snails), and sometimes other cuttlefish. #ImageOfTheDay

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Picture of the day
Common cuttlefish (Sepia officinalis), Arrábida National Park, Portugal. The common cuttlefish is one of the largest and best-known cuttlefish species. They are a migratory species that spend the summer and spring inshore for spawning and then move to depths of 100 to 200m during autumn and winter. They only have a lifespan of 1–2 years and have many predators including sharks, dolphins, seals, fish, and cephalopods which includes other cuttlefish. During the day, most cuttlefish can be found buried below the substrate and fairly inactive. At night however, they are actively searching for prey and can ambush them from under the substrate. Cuttlefish are carnivorous and eat a variety of organisms including crustaceans (crabs and shrimp), small fish, molluscs (clams and snails), and sometimes other cuttlefish.
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After Jesus Bestows Nicknames ‘The Rock’ And ‘Sons Of Thunder’, Apostle James Bummed To Get Stuck With ‘The Lesser’ #BabylonBee – JUDEA — With his fellow apostle scoring nicknames from Jesus like "The Rock" and "Sons of Thunder", the Apostle James admitted to feeling a tad bit disappointed with being christened "The Lesser".
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After Jesus Bestows Nicknames ‘The Rock’ And ‘Sons Of Thunder’, Apostle James Bummed To Get Stuck With ‘The Lesser’ #BabylonBee – JUDEA — With his fellow apostle scoring nicknames from Jesus like "The Rock" and "Sons of Thunder", the Apostle James admitted to feeling a tad bit disappointed with being christened "The Lesser".

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JUDEA — With his fellow apostle scoring nicknames from Jesus like "The Rock" and "Sons of Thunder", the Apostle James admitted to feeling a tad bit disappointed with being christened "The Lesser".

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Picture of the day Fishermen fishing in the chars (shifting sediment islands) of the river Padma in Rajshahi District, Bangladesh. The chars are being frequently visible as the river is drying up. Today is the International Day of Action for Rivers. #ImageOfTheDay
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Picture of the day Fishermen fishing in the chars (shifting sediment islands) of the river Padma in Rajshahi District, Bangladesh. The chars are being frequently visible as the river is drying up. Today is the International Day of Action for Rivers. #ImageOfTheDay

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Picture of the day
Fishermen fishing in the chars (shifting sediment islands) of the river Padma in Rajshahi District, Bangladesh. The chars are being frequently visible as the river is drying up. Today is the International Day of Action for Rivers.
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France Explains They Can’t Help Open Strait Of Hormuz As They Already Sent All 15 Of Their Soldiers To Defend Greenland #BabylonBee – PARIS — French President Emmanuel Macron explained today that the French Army simply could not help open the Strait of Hormuz as all fifteen of its soldiers have already been deployed to defend Greenland.
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France Explains They Can’t Help Open Strait Of Hormuz As They Already Sent All 15 Of Their Soldiers To Defend Greenland #BabylonBee – PARIS — French President Emmanuel Macron explained today that the French Army simply could not help open the Strait of Hormuz as all fifteen of its soldiers have already been deployed to defend Greenland.

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PARIS — French President Emmanuel Macron explained today that the French Army simply could not help open the Strait of Hormuz as all fifteen of its soldiers have already been deployed to defend Greenland.

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Saint Peter Gently Asks Chuck Norris To Stop Roundhouse Kicking The Cherubim #BabylonBee – HEAVEN — After several incidents over the course of his first day in paradise, Chuck Norris was pulled aside by Saint Peter and gently asked to please stop roundhouse kicking the cherubim.
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Saint Peter Gently Asks Chuck Norris To Stop Roundhouse Kicking The Cherubim #BabylonBee – HEAVEN — After several incidents over the course of his first day in paradise, Chuck Norris was pulled aside by Saint Peter and gently asked to please stop roundhouse kicking the cherubim.

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HEAVEN — After several incidents over the course of his first day in paradise, Chuck Norris was pulled aside by Saint Peter and gently asked to please stop roundhouse kicking the cherubim.

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Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe #BabylonBee – U.S. — Following an extensive study that involved gathering information from all internet users, influencers, and podcasters, it has been officially confirmed that, in his final moments, Charlie Kirk affirmed whatever you believe.
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Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe #BabylonBee – U.S. — Following an extensive study that involved gathering information from all internet users, influencers, and podcasters, it has been officially confirmed that, in his final moments, Charlie Kirk affirmed whatever you believe.

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U.S. — Following an extensive study that involved gathering information from all internet users, influencers, and podcasters, it has been officially confirmed that, in his final moments, Charlie Kirk affirmed whatever you believe.

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10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris #BabylonBee – Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the place beyond space. As we look back upon his life, each of us should honor his memory in the best way we can.
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10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris #BabylonBee – Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the place beyond space. As we look back upon his life, each of us should honor his memory in the best way we can.

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Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the place beyond space. As we look back upon his life, each of us should honor his memory in the best way we can.

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Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel’ On Every Puzzle #BabylonBee – LOS ANGELES, CA — Podcaster Tucker Carlson appeared as a guest on the popular game show Wheel of Fortune this week and lost badly after guessing "Israel" for every single puzzle.
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Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel’ On Every Puzzle #BabylonBee – LOS ANGELES, CA — Podcaster Tucker Carlson appeared as a guest on the popular game show Wheel of Fortune this week and lost badly after guessing "Israel" for every single puzzle.

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LOS ANGELES, CA — Podcaster Tucker Carlson appeared as a guest on the popular game show Wheel of Fortune this week and lost badly after guessing "Israel" for every single puzzle.

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8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah #BabylonBee – The hottest job on the market right now is being the Iranian Ayatollah, but why is everyone suddenly buzzing about it? Here are just eight of the most incredible perks that come with being the new Supreme Leader:
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8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah #BabylonBee – The hottest job on the market right now is being the Iranian Ayatollah, but why is everyone suddenly buzzing about it? Here are just eight of the most incredible perks that come with being the new Supreme Leader:

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The hottest job on the market right now is being the Iranian Ayatollah, but why is everyone suddenly buzzing about it? Here are just eight of the most incredible perks that come with being the new Supreme Leader:

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Kevin The Janitor Now Most Senior Military Official Left In Iran #BabylonBee – TEHRAN — Following the latest round of U.S. and Israeli airstrikes in the country, Kevin, the janitor at the Office of the Supreme Leader, was officially recognized as now being the most senior military official left in Iran.
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Kevin The Janitor Now Most Senior Military Official Left In Iran #BabylonBee – TEHRAN — Following the latest round of U.S. and Israeli airstrikes in the country, Kevin, the janitor at the Office of the Supreme Leader, was officially recognized as now being the most senior military official left in Iran.

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TEHRAN — Following the latest round of U.S. and Israeli airstrikes in the country, Kevin, the janitor at the Office of the Supreme Leader, was officially recognized as now being the most senior military official left in Iran.

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Man Condemned To Hell For Texting ‘LOL’ When He Didn’t Really Laugh Out Loud #BabylonBee – HADES — Demons happily welcomed 27-year-old Jim Carole to Hell on Tuesday after he was immediately condemned to eternal damnation for texting "LOL" to a close friend when he didn’t really laugh out loud.
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Man Condemned To Hell For Texting ‘LOL’ When He Didn’t Really Laugh Out Loud #BabylonBee – HADES — Demons happily welcomed 27-year-old Jim Carole to Hell on Tuesday after he was immediately condemned to eternal damnation for texting "LOL" to a close friend when he didn’t really laugh out loud.

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HADES — Demons happily welcomed 27-year-old Jim Carole to Hell on Tuesday after he was immediately condemned to eternal damnation for texting "LOL" to a close friend when he didn’t really laugh out loud.

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Spirit Unveils New All-Duct Tape Aircraft #BabylonBee – DANIA BEACH, FL — Spirit Airlines unveiled a new all-duct tape aircraft that is expected to increase the company’s profit margins at the expense of customer safety in an effort to appease shareholders.
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Spirit Unveils New All-Duct Tape Aircraft #BabylonBee – DANIA BEACH, FL — Spirit Airlines unveiled a new all-duct tape aircraft that is expected to increase the company’s profit margins at the expense of customer safety in an effort to appease shareholders.

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DANIA BEACH, FL — Spirit Airlines unveiled a new all-duct tape aircraft that is expected to increase the company’s profit margins at the expense of customer safety in an effort to appease shareholders.

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