Fun

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprise choice to succeed Jerome Powell when his term expired in the spring, President Donald Trump nominated an unknown Spanish economist named Ronaldo Paulino as chairman of the Federal Reserve.

LOS ANGELES, CA — A movie studio with access to the entire collected works of humanity for use in its film adaptations reportedly opted to make yet another Spider-Man movie instead, sources revealed.

These places are known across the globe for good reason.

U.S. — Liberal women across the U.S. spent the day feverishly refreshing their Instagram feed to see what they are supposed to be angry about next.

Now over a year into the new congressional term and moving toward the midterms, the Republican-controlled U.S. Congress has been racking up one major victory after another. Don’t believe it? Just look at the facts.

No matter where you are, everyone takes staying warm seriously.

From Valentine’s charcuterie journeys to rom-com trivia and quiet reading cars, the Nickel Plate Express makes rail travel feel magical.

Is Trump’s Gestapo getting on your nerves? Looking for ways to show support for undocumented Americans by standing up to federal law enforcement? You’re not alone. Rest assured, there are things you can do to show you’re part of the resistance.

BOISE, ID — Though events taking place around him threatened to envelop him in uncertainty and stress, a local man reported that he was ready to take on the world after sliding his favorite pocket knife into his jeans pocket.

Here’s how to plan a trip to Mammoth Cave National Park.

HELM’S DEEP, WESTFOLD OF ROHAN — Legal observers have clashed with immigration enforcement officers under the command of King Théoden at the tower fortress at Helm’s Deep.

NEW YORK CITY, NY — Researchers note a strong correlation between the decline in the quality of musicals and the large drop in men in the United States who identify as gay.

Even top stargazing destinations can fall flat without this key planning step.

TAIPEI CITY — After spending over an hour-and-a-half climbing to the top of the Taipei 101 skyscraper, Alex Honnold was left kicking himself after realizing there was an elevator just inside.

With the return of the Winter Olympics, all eyes are once again on Cortina d’Ampezzo.

MOGADISHU — Minnesotans have begun fleeing in droves to Somalia to escape the escalating threat of violence.

With tensions continuing to mount over ICE operations in Minneapolis, the journalists at The Babylon Bee are on the ground to document the despicable actions carried out by ICE agents. Here are the seven most horrifying atrocities that we have witnessed:

Travel pros share how to explore the Baja California destination, from art walks to ATV adventures.

ICE is all over the news lately, with conflicting reports about what’s actually happening. Many people have been left wondering if ICE agents are upholding the law and keeping Americans safe or perpetrating acts of evil on innocent people.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the heels of the public announcement that the couple was expecting their fourth child this summer, Second Lady Usha Vance gently informed the Vice President that they would not be naming their baby boy "Thomas Bombadil Vance."

NEW YORK, NY — The woman behind YouTube’s most popular and beloved educational content for children found herself in hot water, as Ms. Rachel issued a public apology for accidentally spray-painting "GO AWAY JEWS" on a synagogue.

CUPERTINO, CA — Sources within Apple’s Software Engineering Division confirmed that their team was working around the clock to make the next iOS update even worse than the current one.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democratic lawmakers once again called on the Department of Justice to reign in ICE officers, fearful that mass deportations will make illegals afraid to vote.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of the executive order to bring back mental institutions, President Trump announced this morning that he would begin by converting the entire city of Minneapolis into an insane asylum.

CUPERTINO, CA — The world’s most popular and trendsetting tech manufacturer set the consumer world on fire once again this week, as Apple introduced a new iPhone for your other hand.

NUUK — With rhetoric from both European countries and the United States over control of the island escalating, Denmark commenced a plan to protect Greenland by securing it in a giant cookie tin.

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Antifa has flooded the streets of Minneapolis to protest against violence by viciously beating innocent bystanders.

BROKEN BOW, OK — In a beautiful scene, fellow Pop-Tarts gathered on a kitchen table this morning to bow down and pay homage to a box of Brown Sugar Cinnamon, undisputed king of the Pop-Tarts.

You were deeply lost in a daydream right in the middle of Bible class when – oh no! The professor is calling your name to answer a question about… something. Here are the seven best things to say if you find yourself in this terrible situation:

U.S. — To improve efficiency with their time management, sports journalists covering Major League Baseball announced that they would now only report on any free agents the Los Angeles Dodgers do not sign to their team.

WASHINGTON, D.C — According to sources, President Donald Trump met with a prominent Muslim leader in the Oval Office on Friday to discuss the ongoing protests and unrest in Iran.

Make your solo adventures safer in the new year.

Every woman wants a hunky, conservative dude to marry. The hard part is knowing how to attract them.

SPACE, THE FINAL FRONTIER — The exploration of other strange, new worlds and the seeking out of new life and new civilizations hit an unexpected snag this week, as Starfleet’s newest vessel was reportedly unable to reach warp speed because the crew was too fat.

TEHRAN — As Iranian protestors were shot dead in the streets, President Trump made good on his promise to come to their aid by having thousands of "Make Iran Great Again" hats airdropped all over the country.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to the new food pyramid released Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Democrats have released an alternative food pentagram.

For peace and quiet, it’s hard to beat Iceland.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With arguments being presented on issues that will have far-reaching effects on shaping the future of American laws, society, and culture, the other eight Supreme Court justices brought in Ms. Rachel to explain cases to Ketanji Brown Jackson.

HEAVEN — Celestial sources say that Scott Adams, creator of the "Dilbert" comic strip, has just been shown to the glorious heavenly cubicle where he will spend the rest of eternity praising God.

These cruise lines make planning your next girls trip a breeze.

Ephemeral by nature, Sycamore Falls rewards those lucky enough to catch it in motion.

U.S. — In its ongoing effort to make watching football as difficult as possible, the National Football League announced today that each quarter of the playoff games will be exclusively streamed on a different streaming network.

U.S. — With the fall of the Ayatollah regime appearing to be imminent, prominent Democrats expressed fear that the dangerous Iranian desire for freedom could potentially spread to the United States.