Fun

CNN has been a mainstay of the American media since its inception in 1980. The prestigious network has won several awards covering everything from the 1993 World Trade Center bombing to 9/11, making it the most trusted name in news. Aspiring journalists, take note! CNN’s reporting on terrorist attacks is second to none.

TEHRAN — Rumors of the Ayatollah regime’s nefarious plot to launch an assault on the west coast of the United States hit a snag on Wednesday, as Iran canceled plans to attack California after seeing Gavin Newsom had already destroyed it.

While many American Evangelicals often lose sight of it, the reality is that there are still places throughout the world where it is dangerous to live as a Christian. But where are the most dangerous places?

NEW YORK, NY — As giant mutant spiders attacked the Big Apple, many concerned experts across the country expressed worry that the giant attacking spiders could lead to a substantial increase in hateful arachnophobia.

BRUSSELS — As all eyes around the globe remained fixed on the ongoing U.S.-Iran conflict, leaders gathered for an important summit in a clear display that Europe remained under its persistent delusion that anyone cares what it thinks.

If you missed celebrating International Women’s Day yesterday, it’s not too late to solemnly observe it in a variety of meaningful ways.

Wild and tame, loose and lyrical: over centuries, the English have elevated garden design to an art form.

HOUSTON, TX — Out of a job after his primary defeat, Dan Crenshaw has officially joined up with the crew of the infamous "Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything."

NEW YORK CITY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani has strongly condemned New Yorkers for making Muslims throw improvised explosive devices at them.

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — The United States State Department issued an evacuation order for the U.S. embassy located in downtown Minneapolis on Friday, citing concerns over the safety of American citizens in the area.

NEW YORK, NY — After months of mounting concern over her apparent change in viewpoints on geopolitical matters, popular commentator and podcaster Megyn Kelly reportedly went back to normal after eating a Snickers.

The Northern Explorer journeys through some of New Zealand’s most dramatic landscapes.

Following his primary loss to Steve Toth, Texas Congressman Dan Crenshaw is now looking for a new career path.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With a hard-set face betrayed by tears, President Donald Trump was seen taking Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem out back behind the White House woodshed.

PERSIAN GULF — In a sign of enormous good will, American forces helpfully converted 20 Iranian warships into submarines.

It can be difficult to find modest attire when you’re a Christian woman, what with all the competing expectations. Fortunately, we at the Babylon Bee are not just prophets – we’re also fashion experts. Here are seven simple tips for Christian ladies to dress modestly:

We found the 10 best staycation-worthy styles to shop now.

WACO, TX — According to sources, a lame local church doesn’t even have its own app.

FALLON, NV — Local Pentecostal Christian Glenn Fuller reportedly beat all his friends at Scrabble yet again thanks to his miraculous ability to spell out all words in tongues.

Here’s why you should visit Mayreau—and how to plan the perfect itinerary.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a modest ceremony at the White House, President Trump awarded the Medal of Honor to a man who was up all weekend monitoring the situation in Iran from his home computer, the administration confirmed on Monday.

LEE’S SUMMIT, MO — The dreams of spring were in the air during last weekend, as one local suburban dad gently consoled himself next to his dormant lawnmower in the garage.

These verdant spots offer soothing natural beauty with a side of serious adventure.

TEHRAN — The Iranian government has officially announced a successor to Ayatollah Khamenei, introducing today the new Supreme Ayatollah, Tucker Carlson.

NEW YORK CITY — In the wake of U.S. attacks on Iran, Mayor Zohran Mamdani has vowed to launch retaliatory strikes on Bernie’s Kosher Delicatessen.

The United States launched a major military attack on Iran overnight, striking dozens of high-level targets across the nation. As the dust settles, everyone is asking the question: what happens next? Here is what’s about to go down:

LONDON — British citizens have politely asked if perhaps they could be next on the list for liberation from radical Islam.

The New York Yankees legend said the greatest gift he can give his kids is travel.

CHAPPAQUA, NY — While being questioned at the Chappaqua Performing Arts Center on Thursday, Hillary Clinton reportedly informed the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform that she only recalled meeting Jeffrey Epstein that one time when she murdered him.

There may be a bias toward Protestantism here, but being Catholic has its perks, too (reportedly). A delegation from The Babylon Bee flew out to Rome to meet with the College of Cardinals to find out the best reasons to be Catholic.

The snowy slopes of Revelstoke, Lake Louise, and Whistler are waiting for you.

With last night’s polarizing State of the Union, President Trump continued fracturing the country with pointed rhetoric designed only to widen the chasm between the country’s left and right. From the many awful things Trump said, here are the eight most divisive statement’s from last night’s speech:

CHAPPAQUA, NY — A lifelong politician whose name appeared on the Epstein list was questioned today by other politicians whose names were on the Epstein list, sources confirmed.

This is one of the most interesting places in the Caribbean.

From glitzy Alpine resorts to a powderhound’s paradise in Japan, these are the top spots to hit the slopes.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congress stared in confusion this evening, puzzled by hearing a speech from a President who can say words and sentences.

Discover the best places to stay, dine, and experience the beauty of New Zealand, according to a local.

CAMBRIDGE, MA — Local Episcopalian Myrtle Smith has once again elected to undergo an enormous sacrifice by giving up reading her Bible again this Lent.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With an alleged third assassination attempt in the books, President Trump is reportedly one step closer to a free third term.

U.S. – After defeating Canada at the only thing it was supposedly good at, the entire territory of Canada has been officially declared an American province.