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Catholic professor calls families to reclaim the home in a technological age #Catholic John Cuddeback, a professor of philosophy at Christendom College, says families today don’t often know how to achieve what they desire in their homes and family life. As a remedy, drawing from both ancient and modern thinkers, he has released "The Intentional Household: Living as if People Matter,” a book that outlines eight pillars for reclaiming the home as a place of human flourishing. “Families today are struggling to achieve what they so badly want: to have the kind of relationships we’re made for, beginning in the home, especially between spouses and between parents and children,” Cuddeback said. “They know they want something different, something better, but they feel hamstrung. In a culture that works against them in many ways, they are frustrated because they lack clear vision and examples to pattern themselves after.”
 
 “The Intentional Household: Living as if People Matter” by Christendom College professor John Cuddeback. | Credit: Ken Oliver-Méndez/EWTN News
 
 Cuddeback, who teaches a course on family and household and is also the author of “True Friendship,” spoke to EWTN News about how he hopes his book conveys that “[a]nyone can choose to be intentional about their household and make real progress with dramatic fruits in the lives of those we love most.” EWTN News: What do you see as the biggest challenge to building and maintaining an intentional home?Cuddebach: It all begins with priorities. As a society we have turned away from the intense focus that our household requires — and this is evident in how we struggle in marriage, raising children, and relating to the elderly. Even many traditionally-minded folks struggle to realize and enact the demanding, even while ordinary, aspects of God’s plan for our homes.Aristotle says that a society tends to produce the kind of people it honors. We do not honor those who prioritize home life — either women or men. This means that many of the structures, practices, and assumptions of our age are at odds with the real good of home life. This is especially evident in our obsession with the latest technologies.This book is a call to all of us to do something radically different and profoundly better — while always recognizing we must be people of our time and place. It calls us to discover that looking first to what our children and our elderly really need is the high road to deeper fulfillment for all of us.How has Pope Leo XIV’s encyclical Magnifica Humanitas influenced your thought on how technology should be incorporated in the home?Pope Leo makes clear that we have come to a crisis point. The time is now to be honest, serious, and persistent in examining our use of technology in view of real human flourishing. This must start in the home. No one else is going to do this for us.But as the pope makes clear, right practice must flow from an understanding of who we are and what we’re made for. “The Intentional Household” offers the rich and positive view of daily life in the home that grounds such an examination. It gives the “yes” that strengthens the “nos” we need to say. It gives direction for rising to the challenges of our age, including how to channel technology to true human flourishing.Approaching homelife intentionally — especially attending to the ordinary in good work and true leisure as essential to our relationships — we can take real steps to become those biblical good stewards so honored by the Lord.How does this apply to those across all walks of life, including single people, married couples without children, those who are divorced or separated?The principles of a vibrant home life are both perennial and flexible. Wherever we find ourselves we can discover how the plan that God wrote into human nature is much better than we have realized.Brokenness and suffering today are widespread. God’s plan encompasses these realities. By the grace of God, anyone who is humble and willing to take an intentional approach can affect real, and indeed dramatic change by applying the book’s eight principles. We can all take real steps to make our homes a place of vibrant life, with deep belonging, connection, and presence.One of the thinkers you cite in your book is Wendell Berry. In light of his recent passing can you speak to his influence on your life and thinking?Wendell Berry saw clearly how the loss of activities of work and leisure in the home has led to our experience of disconnection and isolation. Home should be a place of deep connection: between us and loved ones and neighbors, between soul and body, between us and the earth.One of Berry’s pivotal insights is the key role of a certain kind of work in the home. Berry has pointed out that the work of traditional home arts is much more important than we have realized. He argues that as the breakdown of home life came especially through the loss of good work, the renewal will likewise come through a rediscovery of work that connects us to one another as it connects us to our bodies and to the earth, and ultimately to God.Wendell Berry was a prophet of the extraordinary beauty and importance of the ordinary. Making our home an intentional household means rediscovering the power of ordinary things, such as mealtimes with the whole household, shared work in the kitchen and other home arts, and “porch time” and other such leisure times. Attention to these things can transform our marriage, parenting, and other key relationships.

Catholic professor calls families to reclaim the home in a technological age #Catholic John Cuddeback, a professor of philosophy at Christendom College, says families today don’t often know how to achieve what they desire in their homes and family life. As a remedy, drawing from both ancient and modern thinkers, he has released "The Intentional Household: Living as if People Matter,” a book that outlines eight pillars for reclaiming the home as a place of human flourishing. “Families today are struggling to achieve what they so badly want: to have the kind of relationships we’re made for, beginning in the home, especially between spouses and between parents and children,” Cuddeback said. “They know they want something different, something better, but they feel hamstrung. In a culture that works against them in many ways, they are frustrated because they lack clear vision and examples to pattern themselves after.” “The Intentional Household: Living as if People Matter” by Christendom College professor John Cuddeback. | Credit: Ken Oliver-Méndez/EWTN News Cuddeback, who teaches a course on family and household and is also the author of “True Friendship,” spoke to EWTN News about how he hopes his book conveys that “[a]nyone can choose to be intentional about their household and make real progress with dramatic fruits in the lives of those we love most.” EWTN News: What do you see as the biggest challenge to building and maintaining an intentional home?Cuddebach: It all begins with priorities. As a society we have turned away from the intense focus that our household requires — and this is evident in how we struggle in marriage, raising children, and relating to the elderly. Even many traditionally-minded folks struggle to realize and enact the demanding, even while ordinary, aspects of God’s plan for our homes.Aristotle says that a society tends to produce the kind of people it honors. We do not honor those who prioritize home life — either women or men. This means that many of the structures, practices, and assumptions of our age are at odds with the real good of home life. This is especially evident in our obsession with the latest technologies.This book is a call to all of us to do something radically different and profoundly better — while always recognizing we must be people of our time and place. It calls us to discover that looking first to what our children and our elderly really need is the high road to deeper fulfillment for all of us.How has Pope Leo XIV’s encyclical Magnifica Humanitas influenced your thought on how technology should be incorporated in the home?Pope Leo makes clear that we have come to a crisis point. The time is now to be honest, serious, and persistent in examining our use of technology in view of real human flourishing. This must start in the home. No one else is going to do this for us.But as the pope makes clear, right practice must flow from an understanding of who we are and what we’re made for. “The Intentional Household” offers the rich and positive view of daily life in the home that grounds such an examination. It gives the “yes” that strengthens the “nos” we need to say. It gives direction for rising to the challenges of our age, including how to channel technology to true human flourishing.Approaching homelife intentionally — especially attending to the ordinary in good work and true leisure as essential to our relationships — we can take real steps to become those biblical good stewards so honored by the Lord.How does this apply to those across all walks of life, including single people, married couples without children, those who are divorced or separated?The principles of a vibrant home life are both perennial and flexible. Wherever we find ourselves we can discover how the plan that God wrote into human nature is much better than we have realized.Brokenness and suffering today are widespread. God’s plan encompasses these realities. By the grace of God, anyone who is humble and willing to take an intentional approach can affect real, and indeed dramatic change by applying the book’s eight principles. We can all take real steps to make our homes a place of vibrant life, with deep belonging, connection, and presence.One of the thinkers you cite in your book is Wendell Berry. In light of his recent passing can you speak to his influence on your life and thinking?Wendell Berry saw clearly how the loss of activities of work and leisure in the home has led to our experience of disconnection and isolation. Home should be a place of deep connection: between us and loved ones and neighbors, between soul and body, between us and the earth.One of Berry’s pivotal insights is the key role of a certain kind of work in the home. Berry has pointed out that the work of traditional home arts is much more important than we have realized. He argues that as the breakdown of home life came especially through the loss of good work, the renewal will likewise come through a rediscovery of work that connects us to one another as it connects us to our bodies and to the earth, and ultimately to God.Wendell Berry was a prophet of the extraordinary beauty and importance of the ordinary. Making our home an intentional household means rediscovering the power of ordinary things, such as mealtimes with the whole household, shared work in the kitchen and other home arts, and “porch time” and other such leisure times. Attention to these things can transform our marriage, parenting, and other key relationships.

Christendom College professor John Cuddeback spoke to EWTN News about his new book “The Intentional Household: Living as if People Matter,” and treating our homes as places of human flourishing.

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Cana launches wedding registry storefront, partnering with Catholic businesses #Catholic Cana has launched its own registry storefront, partnering with brands for traditional wedding gifts and also working with Catholic businesses to offer couples everything from Catholic jewelry to sacred home decor.The storefront launched on Sept. 4, putting “Catholic vendors front and center,” Cana founders told EWTN News.Cana is a faith-focused wedding-planning platform designed for Catholic and Christian couples to build their websites. The Cana site helps engaged couples manage registries, guest lists, RSVPs, and it connects users with a diverse range of vendors.It is intended to help couples plan a beautiful, reverent, and personalized wedding, the founders said. It is free of charge to the thousands of couples who use it.Bringing Christ and ‘intentionality’ to wedding registries “Up until this point, Cana essentially was just an affiliate partner for pretty much any online retailer. The most popular provider was Amazon, but also Target, Crate & Barrel, and Williams-Sonoma,” James Reichert, co-founder of Cana, told EWTN News.“Then couples could take an individual link from a Catholic retailer and add that item to their registry. But we were essentially an affiliate partner for the big retailers,” he said.Cana didnʼt want to be “a Catholic version” of the secular wedding websites, but rather “we wanted to be something truly, radically different,” Reichert said. “So we built our own registry storefront.”The storefront puts “our Catholic vendors front and center,” Gabe Gessler, co-founder of Cana, added.“We’ve partnered with big brands. Couples can add ultra high quality kitchenware and bedding items and they can create a full scale wedding registry through the service,” Reichert said.Reichert said they also partnered with “incredible Catholic retailers: West Coast Catholic, The Little Catholic, The Catholic Company…,House of Joppa, and Darling & Divine.”“For the first time, Catholic and Christian couples donʼt just have to register for their home goods, all the cookware, dinnerware, bedding things, that they would typically do on a regular wedding registry,” he said.Now, “they can also register for sacred arts, sacred jewelry, beautiful wall mounts, and icons from all of these incredible brands that have been trusted for decades,” Reichert said. Cana is hoping to be a “central point for all those different brands on one beautiful wedding registry experience,” he said.“So many of our brides, they desire intentionality,” Gessler said. “They desire an intentional experience that points them towards the person that matters the most, which is Jesus Christ.”To give couples a better experience, Cana is “placing forward, front and center, really high quality, what we truly believe are world-class companies, that are able to meet this intersection of commerce and the faith all in one,” Gessler said.“We believe itʼs going to bless our partners more,” he said.“Really what we want to do is help create this ecosystem where a Catholic bride doesnʼt need to go scour the internet for all these different partners, or these different registries. But actually she can just have it all in one place,” Gessler said.“Then also she can come and support these incredible Catholic businesses,” Gessler said.CanaLaunched in September 2025, “Cana really exists to help couples focus on Christ from their engagement to eternity,” Reichert said. “Our biggest desire is to just help create holy couples and holy marriages.”“Weʼve now been around for a year,” Gessler said. “Weʼve had more than 8,000 brides join Cana.”“Itʼs not just a registry experience. Itʼs a digital wedding planning experience that is totally holistic and centered around Christ and the sacrament of marriage rather than just …the excitement of the day,” Gessler said.“When you get married to your spouse … itʼs an opportunity to enter into this new stage of your life and to place Christ at the center of it,” he said.“We are praying for every single couple who uses us every day,” Reichert said. “To any couple who has the courage to use us to plan their wedding, we genuinely are so grateful for every single one.”

Cana launches wedding registry storefront, partnering with Catholic businesses #Catholic Cana has launched its own registry storefront, partnering with brands for traditional wedding gifts and also working with Catholic businesses to offer couples everything from Catholic jewelry to sacred home decor.The storefront launched on Sept. 4, putting “Catholic vendors front and center,” Cana founders told EWTN News.Cana is a faith-focused wedding-planning platform designed for Catholic and Christian couples to build their websites. The Cana site helps engaged couples manage registries, guest lists, RSVPs, and it connects users with a diverse range of vendors.It is intended to help couples plan a beautiful, reverent, and personalized wedding, the founders said. It is free of charge to the thousands of couples who use it.Bringing Christ and ‘intentionality’ to wedding registries “Up until this point, Cana essentially was just an affiliate partner for pretty much any online retailer. The most popular provider was Amazon, but also Target, Crate & Barrel, and Williams-Sonoma,” James Reichert, co-founder of Cana, told EWTN News.“Then couples could take an individual link from a Catholic retailer and add that item to their registry. But we were essentially an affiliate partner for the big retailers,” he said.Cana didnʼt want to be “a Catholic version” of the secular wedding websites, but rather “we wanted to be something truly, radically different,” Reichert said. “So we built our own registry storefront.”The storefront puts “our Catholic vendors front and center,” Gabe Gessler, co-founder of Cana, added.“We’ve partnered with big brands. Couples can add ultra high quality kitchenware and bedding items and they can create a full scale wedding registry through the service,” Reichert said.Reichert said they also partnered with “incredible Catholic retailers: West Coast Catholic, The Little Catholic, The Catholic Company…,House of Joppa, and Darling & Divine.”“For the first time, Catholic and Christian couples donʼt just have to register for their home goods, all the cookware, dinnerware, bedding things, that they would typically do on a regular wedding registry,” he said.Now, “they can also register for sacred arts, sacred jewelry, beautiful wall mounts, and icons from all of these incredible brands that have been trusted for decades,” Reichert said. Cana is hoping to be a “central point for all those different brands on one beautiful wedding registry experience,” he said.“So many of our brides, they desire intentionality,” Gessler said. “They desire an intentional experience that points them towards the person that matters the most, which is Jesus Christ.”To give couples a better experience, Cana is “placing forward, front and center, really high quality, what we truly believe are world-class companies, that are able to meet this intersection of commerce and the faith all in one,” Gessler said.“We believe itʼs going to bless our partners more,” he said.“Really what we want to do is help create this ecosystem where a Catholic bride doesnʼt need to go scour the internet for all these different partners, or these different registries. But actually she can just have it all in one place,” Gessler said.“Then also she can come and support these incredible Catholic businesses,” Gessler said.CanaLaunched in September 2025, “Cana really exists to help couples focus on Christ from their engagement to eternity,” Reichert said. “Our biggest desire is to just help create holy couples and holy marriages.”“Weʼve now been around for a year,” Gessler said. “Weʼve had more than 8,000 brides join Cana.”“Itʼs not just a registry experience. Itʼs a digital wedding planning experience that is totally holistic and centered around Christ and the sacrament of marriage rather than just …the excitement of the day,” Gessler said.“When you get married to your spouse … itʼs an opportunity to enter into this new stage of your life and to place Christ at the center of it,” he said.“We are praying for every single couple who uses us every day,” Reichert said. “To any couple who has the courage to use us to plan their wedding, we genuinely are so grateful for every single one.”

“Catholic and Christian couples don’t just have to register for their home goods,” but can “also register for sacred arts, sacred jewelry, beautiful wall mounts, and icons,” James Reichert said.

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Hope for broken marriages: One couple’s story #Catholic On April 7, 2009, Mariela Villanueva landed in Venezuela convinced that she was going to end her marriage. Five years had passed since her husband, Harold Figueras, had left his family in Peru and rebuilt his life in another country. She carried with her the pain of a long separation and the resolve to sign the divorce papers. He had with him a written list of all the grievances he intended to unleash the moment he saw her.Nothing happened the way either of them had imagined.They arranged to meet on a Wednesday at 3 p.m., the Hour of Mercy, at the very spot where they had courted years before. When Mariela appeared, Harold frantically searched for the sheet of paper containing his complaints. It had vanished.“I was expecting a war. She opened her arms to embrace me, and I realized that I was the only one who wanted to fight,” Harold recalled in an interview with ACI Prensa, the Spanish-language sister service of EWTN News. Mariela said she made that gesture because she had already begun a process of conversion and was holding onto one last hope.That embrace did not immediately restore the marriage, however. It would still be nearly a month before he ended the other relationship he was in and decided to return to his family. But on that day, they both attest, Jesus won the first great battle.
 
 Harold and Mariela in front of Lima Cathedral. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras and Mariela Villanueva
 
 A marriage marked by woundednessHarold and Mariela met in 1998 at the Venezuelan College of Engineers. He worked in systems; she was a young lawyer running a legal consultation firm with dozens of professionals under her supervision.While Mariela had grown up in a Catholic family and frequently prayed the rosary, Harold was completely indifferent to the faith.“I used to make fun of priests. For me, getting married in the Church was simply a matter of fulfilling a social formality,” he admitted.They were married in a civil ceremony and on Sept. 2, 2000, received the sacrament at marriage at St. Francis of Assisi Parish in Barranco, Peru. However, they acknowledged that they came to the altar without truly understanding the meaning of the vocation of marriage.“We began our life together without God at the center. That was the first major mistake,” Harold explained.Over the years, deep-seated wounds began to surface: abandonment, loneliness, pride, an inability to communicate, and unrealistic expectations about love. Venezuela’s economic crisis further aggravated the situation. Harold traveled constantly between the two countries until, one day, he simply stopped coming back.Mariela was left alone in Lima with her young daughter.
 
 Recent photo of Harold and Mariela with their three daughters in Lima, Peru. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras and Mariela Villanueva
 
 ‘Mom, teach me to pray’Paradoxically, the restoration did not begin when Harold changed. It began when Mariela got down on her knees.Estranged from the Church and filled with resentment, the young mother had abandoned the practice of her faith after being hurt by a bad experience at a parish. Everything changed thanks to an unexpected request from her 7-year-old daughter: “Mom, grandma says you know how to pray. Teach me the rosary.”Mariela agreed, more out of a sense of obligation than anything else. Shortly after that, her daughter insisted on making her first Communion and said something that pierced her mother’s heart: “You know what it’s like to have Jesus in your heart… so why don’t you [go to Communion]?”Those words led Mariela back to the confessional.From then on, she began a routine that would change her life: daily Mass before work, Eucharistic adoration at midday, and the rosary every night with her daughter.“I was looking for God to change my husband. The Lord ended up changing me,” she related.
 
 Harold and Mariela with members of the Peruvian Catholic movement “Jesus and Mary Are Restoring My Family.” | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras and Mariela Villanueva
 
 ‘Look at me’During Eucharistic adoration, an experience occurred that would, years later, give its name to the retreat the couple now leads as part of the Peruvian Catholic movement “Jesus and Mary Are Restoring My Family.”Mariela was praying, seeing herself as the victim in her story: “Lord, look at me. Look at how good I am. Look at what he did to me.”Then, she raised her eyes toward the monstrance.“I no longer saw the monstrance. I saw Jesus, wounded and bloodied. And he said to me only: ‘Look at me.’”In that moment, she experienced a personal encounter with Jesus. She began to recall her own sins from childhood and realized that, for years, she had been unable to recognize her own wounds.“I realized that God wasn’t going to ask me about Harold’s sins. He was going to ask me how much I loved my husband within the sacrament.”Her prayer changed completely, and she no longer asked for Harold to return. She only prayed: “Lord, bring him back to you.”
 
 Mariela Villanueva. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Mariela Villanueva
 
 The hell of the occultWhile Mariela was deepening her prayer life, Harold was heading down a completely opposite path.Seeking better financial prospects, he began consulting tarot cards. Next came syncretist Santería practices, and finally Palería, a witchcraft practice involving human remains and animal sacrifices.“I entered a dark room containing skeletal remains. I felt an indescribable fear, yet I kept looking for answers where they weren’t to be found,” Harold recalled.Amid that emptiness, he began to notice something strange. Mariela kept calling him, but no longer to get him back. One afternoon, in a mocking tone, he asked her: “What’s wrong? Don’t you need me anymore?”Her answer baffled him.“No. Whatʼs going on is that I have someone here who loves me.”Harold thought she had another romantic partner, but today he knows his wife was speaking of Christ himself.
 
 Harold Figueras. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras
 
 Welcomed back with loveAfter that encounter with his wife in Venezuela, Harold eventually returned to Peru.He admitted he was terrified of facing Mariela’s family and above all, their daughter. He imagined reproaches, humiliation, and rejection. Yet, he found exactly the opposite.“They all hugged me as if I had just stepped out to buy bread,” he recounted.A few days later, he accompanied Mariela to the Oblate Fathers’ church in the Barranco neighborhood of Lima. He had no thought of even going inside. He was standing near the doorway when, as he tells it, he felt an inner impulse that led him straight to the confessional.“I told the priest: ‘Father, I’ve been separated from my wife for five years, and I don’t know why I’ve come back.’”The priest invited him to attend a spiritual retreat. It was there that Harold experienced his own conversion.Before the Blessed Sacrament, after resisting for hours, Harold looked up: “I no longer saw the monstrance. I saw two honey-colored eyes that pierced my heart. I began to weep as I never had in my life.”From that moment on, he abandoned the occult and began a journey of faith that continues to this day.An ongoing miracleMore than 15 years have passed since that reconciliation.Harold and Mariela maintain that the true miracle was not simply living together again but discovering that marriage is a daily path to holiness.“Restoring the marriage takes your whole life. It doesn’t stop when the husband returns. It begins there,” Mariela said.
 
 Harold and Mariela today. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras and Mariela Villanueva
 
 That experience gave rise to the “Jesus and Mary Are Restoring My Family” movement, an initiative that supports spouses who are separated or on the verge of divorce. The path they propose begins with oneʼs own conversion rather than an attempt to change oneʼs spouse.Those who come to the mission begin with what’s called “Mary’s Workshop,” a preparation for consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary that focuses on the sacrament of marriage. There, the aim is for each person to acknowledge his or her own wounds and receive the tools to discern how to handle their issues as a family.However, Harold and Mariela noted that not all journeys end the same way. Some married couples manage to reunite, while others go their separate ways, including through the process of a declaration of nullity. What remains, they maintain, is the call to conversion and to seek God’s will.“The Lord wants us to be holy,” Mariela explained. She said that even when a person goes through a process different from what she or he hoped for, suffering can become an opportunity to draw closer to Christ and offer that pain for the holiness of the Church.Today, when they look back, the couple no longer see themselves as the same people who had separated. Mariela describes Harold as a man more committed to knowing Godʼs love and capable of giving of himself to his family.For his part, he acknowledged that the woman he reunited with after five years was no longer the same one he had left behind.
 
 The Figueras Villanueva family today. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras and Mariela Villanueva
 
 For this reason, their testimony does not aim to offer a formula for restoring a lost marriage. It is, above all, the story of two people who discovered that, before asking God to change the other person, they had to allow themselves to be transformed by him.“Many people come saying, ‘I want my husband to come back.’ We tell them: First, let Jesus return to the center of your heart,” Harold explained.Their message to couples in crisis stems from that experience: Don’t hide your wounds, don’t let shame defeat you, and don’t confuse restoration with a simple return to the life you had before.For as they discovered that Wednesday afternoon in 2009, some marital battles are not won by defeating the other person but by allowing oneself to be conquered by God’s merciful love.This story was first published by ACI Prensa, the Spanish-language sister service of EWTN News. It has been translated and adapted by EWTN News English.

Hope for broken marriages: One couple’s story #Catholic On April 7, 2009, Mariela Villanueva landed in Venezuela convinced that she was going to end her marriage. Five years had passed since her husband, Harold Figueras, had left his family in Peru and rebuilt his life in another country. She carried with her the pain of a long separation and the resolve to sign the divorce papers. He had with him a written list of all the grievances he intended to unleash the moment he saw her.Nothing happened the way either of them had imagined.They arranged to meet on a Wednesday at 3 p.m., the Hour of Mercy, at the very spot where they had courted years before. When Mariela appeared, Harold frantically searched for the sheet of paper containing his complaints. It had vanished.“I was expecting a war. She opened her arms to embrace me, and I realized that I was the only one who wanted to fight,” Harold recalled in an interview with ACI Prensa, the Spanish-language sister service of EWTN News. Mariela said she made that gesture because she had already begun a process of conversion and was holding onto one last hope.That embrace did not immediately restore the marriage, however. It would still be nearly a month before he ended the other relationship he was in and decided to return to his family. But on that day, they both attest, Jesus won the first great battle. Harold and Mariela in front of Lima Cathedral. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras and Mariela Villanueva A marriage marked by woundednessHarold and Mariela met in 1998 at the Venezuelan College of Engineers. He worked in systems; she was a young lawyer running a legal consultation firm with dozens of professionals under her supervision.While Mariela had grown up in a Catholic family and frequently prayed the rosary, Harold was completely indifferent to the faith.“I used to make fun of priests. For me, getting married in the Church was simply a matter of fulfilling a social formality,” he admitted.They were married in a civil ceremony and on Sept. 2, 2000, received the sacrament at marriage at St. Francis of Assisi Parish in Barranco, Peru. However, they acknowledged that they came to the altar without truly understanding the meaning of the vocation of marriage.“We began our life together without God at the center. That was the first major mistake,” Harold explained.Over the years, deep-seated wounds began to surface: abandonment, loneliness, pride, an inability to communicate, and unrealistic expectations about love. Venezuela’s economic crisis further aggravated the situation. Harold traveled constantly between the two countries until, one day, he simply stopped coming back.Mariela was left alone in Lima with her young daughter. Recent photo of Harold and Mariela with their three daughters in Lima, Peru. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras and Mariela Villanueva ‘Mom, teach me to pray’Paradoxically, the restoration did not begin when Harold changed. It began when Mariela got down on her knees.Estranged from the Church and filled with resentment, the young mother had abandoned the practice of her faith after being hurt by a bad experience at a parish. Everything changed thanks to an unexpected request from her 7-year-old daughter: “Mom, grandma says you know how to pray. Teach me the rosary.”Mariela agreed, more out of a sense of obligation than anything else. Shortly after that, her daughter insisted on making her first Communion and said something that pierced her mother’s heart: “You know what it’s like to have Jesus in your heart… so why don’t you [go to Communion]?”Those words led Mariela back to the confessional.From then on, she began a routine that would change her life: daily Mass before work, Eucharistic adoration at midday, and the rosary every night with her daughter.“I was looking for God to change my husband. The Lord ended up changing me,” she related. Harold and Mariela with members of the Peruvian Catholic movement “Jesus and Mary Are Restoring My Family.” | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras and Mariela Villanueva ‘Look at me’During Eucharistic adoration, an experience occurred that would, years later, give its name to the retreat the couple now leads as part of the Peruvian Catholic movement “Jesus and Mary Are Restoring My Family.”Mariela was praying, seeing herself as the victim in her story: “Lord, look at me. Look at how good I am. Look at what he did to me.”Then, she raised her eyes toward the monstrance.“I no longer saw the monstrance. I saw Jesus, wounded and bloodied. And he said to me only: ‘Look at me.’”In that moment, she experienced a personal encounter with Jesus. She began to recall her own sins from childhood and realized that, for years, she had been unable to recognize her own wounds.“I realized that God wasn’t going to ask me about Harold’s sins. He was going to ask me how much I loved my husband within the sacrament.”Her prayer changed completely, and she no longer asked for Harold to return. She only prayed: “Lord, bring him back to you.” Mariela Villanueva. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Mariela Villanueva The hell of the occultWhile Mariela was deepening her prayer life, Harold was heading down a completely opposite path.Seeking better financial prospects, he began consulting tarot cards. Next came syncretist Santería practices, and finally Palería, a witchcraft practice involving human remains and animal sacrifices.“I entered a dark room containing skeletal remains. I felt an indescribable fear, yet I kept looking for answers where they weren’t to be found,” Harold recalled.Amid that emptiness, he began to notice something strange. Mariela kept calling him, but no longer to get him back. One afternoon, in a mocking tone, he asked her: “What’s wrong? Don’t you need me anymore?”Her answer baffled him.“No. Whatʼs going on is that I have someone here who loves me.”Harold thought she had another romantic partner, but today he knows his wife was speaking of Christ himself. Harold Figueras. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras Welcomed back with loveAfter that encounter with his wife in Venezuela, Harold eventually returned to Peru.He admitted he was terrified of facing Mariela’s family and above all, their daughter. He imagined reproaches, humiliation, and rejection. Yet, he found exactly the opposite.“They all hugged me as if I had just stepped out to buy bread,” he recounted.A few days later, he accompanied Mariela to the Oblate Fathers’ church in the Barranco neighborhood of Lima. He had no thought of even going inside. He was standing near the doorway when, as he tells it, he felt an inner impulse that led him straight to the confessional.“I told the priest: ‘Father, I’ve been separated from my wife for five years, and I don’t know why I’ve come back.’”The priest invited him to attend a spiritual retreat. It was there that Harold experienced his own conversion.Before the Blessed Sacrament, after resisting for hours, Harold looked up: “I no longer saw the monstrance. I saw two honey-colored eyes that pierced my heart. I began to weep as I never had in my life.”From that moment on, he abandoned the occult and began a journey of faith that continues to this day.An ongoing miracleMore than 15 years have passed since that reconciliation.Harold and Mariela maintain that the true miracle was not simply living together again but discovering that marriage is a daily path to holiness.“Restoring the marriage takes your whole life. It doesn’t stop when the husband returns. It begins there,” Mariela said. Harold and Mariela today. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras and Mariela Villanueva That experience gave rise to the “Jesus and Mary Are Restoring My Family” movement, an initiative that supports spouses who are separated or on the verge of divorce. The path they propose begins with oneʼs own conversion rather than an attempt to change oneʼs spouse.Those who come to the mission begin with what’s called “Mary’s Workshop,” a preparation for consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary that focuses on the sacrament of marriage. There, the aim is for each person to acknowledge his or her own wounds and receive the tools to discern how to handle their issues as a family.However, Harold and Mariela noted that not all journeys end the same way. Some married couples manage to reunite, while others go their separate ways, including through the process of a declaration of nullity. What remains, they maintain, is the call to conversion and to seek God’s will.“The Lord wants us to be holy,” Mariela explained. She said that even when a person goes through a process different from what she or he hoped for, suffering can become an opportunity to draw closer to Christ and offer that pain for the holiness of the Church.Today, when they look back, the couple no longer see themselves as the same people who had separated. Mariela describes Harold as a man more committed to knowing Godʼs love and capable of giving of himself to his family.For his part, he acknowledged that the woman he reunited with after five years was no longer the same one he had left behind. The Figueras Villanueva family today. | Credit: Photo courtesy of Harold Figueras and Mariela Villanueva For this reason, their testimony does not aim to offer a formula for restoring a lost marriage. It is, above all, the story of two people who discovered that, before asking God to change the other person, they had to allow themselves to be transformed by him.“Many people come saying, ‘I want my husband to come back.’ We tell them: First, let Jesus return to the center of your heart,” Harold explained.Their message to couples in crisis stems from that experience: Don’t hide your wounds, don’t let shame defeat you, and don’t confuse restoration with a simple return to the life you had before.For as they discovered that Wednesday afternoon in 2009, some marital battles are not won by defeating the other person but by allowing oneself to be conquered by God’s merciful love.This story was first published by ACI Prensa, the Spanish-language sister service of EWTN News. It has been translated and adapted by EWTN News English.

Starting out their marriage without God at the center, the couple became estranged and the husband left, but things began to change when their daughter asked her mom, “Teach me to pray.”

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