Month: April 2026

Smoke Alarm Patiently Waits Until 3 A.M. To Announce Low Battery #BabylonBee – MACON, GA — A smoke alarm living in the house of a local family waited patiently until all the home’s occupants went to sleep to start beeping loudly sometime around 3 A.M. to announce that its battery was low.
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Smoke Alarm Patiently Waits Until 3 A.M. To Announce Low Battery #BabylonBee – MACON, GA — A smoke alarm living in the house of a local family waited patiently until all the home’s occupants went to sleep to start beeping loudly sometime around 3 A.M. to announce that its battery was low.

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MACON, GA — A smoke alarm living in the house of a local family waited patiently until all the home’s occupants went to sleep to start beeping loudly sometime around 3 A.M. to announce that its battery was low.

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Newly Arrived Boomer Tells Heavenly Sound Guy The Worship Music Is Too Loud #BabylonBee – HEAVEN — Within moments of arriving at the Pearly Gates, local boomer Gary Whitaker located Heaven’s sound booth and politely but firmly informed the angelic operator that the worship music was too loud.
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Newly Arrived Boomer Tells Heavenly Sound Guy The Worship Music Is Too Loud #BabylonBee – HEAVEN — Within moments of arriving at the Pearly Gates, local boomer Gary Whitaker located Heaven’s sound booth and politely but firmly informed the angelic operator that the worship music was too loud.

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HEAVEN — Within moments of arriving at the Pearly Gates, local boomer Gary Whitaker located Heaven’s sound booth and politely but firmly informed the angelic operator that the worship music was too loud.

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Picture of the day The Capitoline Wolf is a bronze sculpture made by unknown Etruscan sculptors (5th century BC), with the twins Romulus and Remus added in the late 15th century AD, by sculptor Antonio del Pollaiuolo. The sculptural group depicts a scene from the legend of the founding of Rome, occurred on 21 April 753 BC. #ImageOfTheDay
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Picture of the day The Capitoline Wolf is a bronze sculpture made by unknown Etruscan sculptors (5th century BC), with the twins Romulus and Remus added in the late 15th century AD, by sculptor Antonio del Pollaiuolo. The sculptural group depicts a scene from the legend of the founding of Rome, occurred on 21 April 753 BC. #ImageOfTheDay

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Picture of the day
The Capitoline Wolf is a bronze sculpture made by unknown Etruscan sculptors (5th century BC), with the twins Romulus and Remus added in the late 15th century AD, by sculptor Antonio del Pollaiuolo. The sculptural group depicts a scene from the legend of the founding of Rome, occurred on 21 April 753 BC.
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9 Warning Signs Your Teacher Might Be Plotting To Assassinate The President #BabylonBee – As a student, it’s wise to pick up clues from your teacher — whether it’s their expectations of you, what they might include on the final exam, and whether they are plotting to assassinate the U.S. President.
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9 Warning Signs Your Teacher Might Be Plotting To Assassinate The President #BabylonBee – As a student, it’s wise to pick up clues from your teacher — whether it’s their expectations of you, what they might include on the final exam, and whether they are plotting to assassinate the U.S. President.

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As a student, it’s wise to pick up clues from your teacher — whether it’s their expectations of you, what they might include on the final exam, and whether they are plotting to assassinate the U.S. President.

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Nation Longs For Good Old Days When Comedians Were Funny And Didn’t Wish Death On People #BabylonBee – U.S. — On the heels of yet another attempted act of political violence being used for laughs by late-night talk show hosts, Americans expressed a deep longing for the good old days when comedians were funny and didn’t wish death on people.
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Nation Longs For Good Old Days When Comedians Were Funny And Didn’t Wish Death On People #BabylonBee – U.S. — On the heels of yet another attempted act of political violence being used for laughs by late-night talk show hosts, Americans expressed a deep longing for the good old days when comedians were funny and didn’t wish death on people.

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U.S. — On the heels of yet another attempted act of political violence being used for laughs by late-night talk show hosts, Americans expressed a deep longing for the good old days when comedians were funny and didn’t wish death on people.

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After Failed Assassination, Democrats Observe Customary 5-Minute Pause On Calling Trump ‘Hitler’ #BabylonBee – WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a the wake of yet another failed assassination attempt against President Trump, leading Democrats across the nation announced they would observe the long-standing tradition of a five-minute pause in calling Trump "literally Hitler".
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After Failed Assassination, Democrats Observe Customary 5-Minute Pause On Calling Trump ‘Hitler’ #BabylonBee – WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a the wake of yet another failed assassination attempt against President Trump, leading Democrats across the nation announced they would observe the long-standing tradition of a five-minute pause in calling Trump "literally Hitler".

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a the wake of yet another failed assassination attempt against President Trump, leading Democrats across the nation announced they would observe the long-standing tradition of a five-minute pause in calling Trump "literally Hitler".

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A Fresh Look at the Crab Nebula – This image that NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope captured of the Crab Nebula, paired with its past observations and those of other telescopes, allows astronomers to study how the supernova remnant is expanding and evolving over time.

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This image that NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope captured of the Crab Nebula, paired with its past observations and those of other telescopes, allows astronomers to study how the supernova remnant is expanding and evolving over time.

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SPLC Says Funding KKK Only 3% Of What They Do #BabylonBee – MONTGOMERY, AL — The Southern Poverty Law Center defended itself against reports of controversial spending practices by informing donors that funding the Ku Klux Klan is only 3% of what they do.
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SPLC Says Funding KKK Only 3% Of What They Do #BabylonBee – MONTGOMERY, AL — The Southern Poverty Law Center defended itself against reports of controversial spending practices by informing donors that funding the Ku Klux Klan is only 3% of what they do.

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MONTGOMERY, AL — The Southern Poverty Law Center defended itself against reports of controversial spending practices by informing donors that funding the Ku Klux Klan is only 3% of what they do.

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Picture of the day Blue shark (Prionace glauca), Faial-Pico Channel, Azores Islands, Portugal. The blue shark is a species of requiem shark, in the family Carcharhinidae, that inhabits deep waters (images taken though between 5 and 10 meter below water) averaging around 3.1 m (10 ft) and preferring cooler waters. They can live up to 20 years, can move very quickly and feed primarily on small fish and squid, although they can take larger prey. #ImageOfTheDay

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Picture of the day
Blue shark (Prionace glauca), Faial-Pico Channel, Azores Islands, Portugal. The blue shark is a species of requiem shark, in the family Carcharhinidae, that inhabits deep waters (images taken though between 5 and 10 meter below water) averaging around 3.1 m (10 ft) and preferring cooler waters. They can live up to 20 years, can move very quickly and feed primarily on small fish and squid, although they can take larger prey.
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The Day of the Trifid Nebula – NASA celebrates Hubble’s 36th anniversary with a new image of the Trifid Nebula, a star-forming region it first captured in 1997. The telescope leveraged almost its full operational lifetime to show us changes in the nebula on human time scales with an improved camera.
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The Day of the Trifid Nebula – NASA celebrates Hubble’s 36th anniversary with a new image of the Trifid Nebula, a star-forming region it first captured in 1997. The telescope leveraged almost its full operational lifetime to show us changes in the nebula on human time scales with an improved camera.

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NASA celebrates Hubble’s 36th anniversary with a new image of the Trifid Nebula, a star-forming region it first captured in 1997. The telescope leveraged almost its full operational lifetime to show us changes in the nebula on human time scales with an improved camera.

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Evangelical Church Architect Fired For Suggesting Steeple #BabylonBee – OKLAHOMA CITY, OK — A local architect contracted to design the new location for First Testimony Crosspointe Church was reportedly fired and escorted from the construction site after suggesting the building include a steeple.
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Evangelical Church Architect Fired For Suggesting Steeple #BabylonBee – OKLAHOMA CITY, OK — A local architect contracted to design the new location for First Testimony Crosspointe Church was reportedly fired and escorted from the construction site after suggesting the building include a steeple.

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OKLAHOMA CITY, OK — A local architect contracted to design the new location for First Testimony Crosspointe Church was reportedly fired and escorted from the construction site after suggesting the building include a steeple.

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Picture of the day Key Monastery in the northern Indian state of Himachal Pradesh. It is located at an elevation of 4,166 m (13,668 ft) on a hill rising above the Spiti valley, where it is the largest monastery and houses hundreds of monks. It is said to have been founded in the 11th century and belongs to the Gelugpa school of Indo-Tibetan Buddhism. This view shows the monastery in winter, overlooking the snow-covered Spiti river valley with the Himalayas in the background. #ImageOfTheDay

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Picture of the day
Key Monastery in the northern Indian state of Himachal Pradesh. It is located at an elevation of 4,166 m (13,668 ft) on a hill rising above the Spiti valley, where it is the largest monastery and houses hundreds of monks. It is said to have been founded in the 11th century and belongs to the Gelugpa school of Indo-Tibetan Buddhism. This view shows the monastery in winter, overlooking the snow-covered Spiti river valley with the Himalayas in the background.
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NASA’s Chandra Finds Young Stars Dim Quickly – Scientists have found that young stellar cousins of our Sun are calming down and dimming more quickly in their X-ray output than previously thought, according to a study using NASA’s Chandra X-ray Observatory.
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NASA’s Chandra Finds Young Stars Dim Quickly – Scientists have found that young stellar cousins of our Sun are calming down and dimming more quickly in their X-ray output than previously thought, according to a study using NASA’s Chandra X-ray Observatory.

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Scientists have found that young stellar cousins of our Sun are calming down and dimming more quickly in their X-ray output than previously thought, according to a study using NASA’s Chandra X-ray Observatory.

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10 Powerful Stories From People Who Converted To Atheism #BabylonBee – We all love a good conversion story. Those beautiful accounts of people who thought life had meaning and then realized that none of this matters and we’re all going to die and there’s nothing else after that except the long darkness. It brings a tear to the eye (which is a non-meaningful, chemical reaction biologically programmed into us through millions of years of random mutations).
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10 Powerful Stories From People Who Converted To Atheism #BabylonBee – We all love a good conversion story. Those beautiful accounts of people who thought life had meaning and then realized that none of this matters and we’re all going to die and there’s nothing else after that except the long darkness. It brings a tear to the eye (which is a non-meaningful, chemical reaction biologically programmed into us through millions of years of random mutations).

unitedyam

We all love a good conversion story. Those beautiful accounts of people who thought life had meaning and then realized that none of this matters and we’re all going to die and there’s nothing else after that except the long darkness. It brings a tear to the eye (which is a non-meaningful, chemical reaction biologically programmed into us through millions of years of random mutations).

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NFL To Utilize Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat For This Year’s Draft #BabylonBee – PITTSBURGH, PA — In a stark change from decades of tradition, the National Football League announced that, rather than the standard method of having each team select its preferred prospects, it would now utilize Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat for this year’s draft.
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NFL To Utilize Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat For This Year’s Draft #BabylonBee – PITTSBURGH, PA — In a stark change from decades of tradition, the National Football League announced that, rather than the standard method of having each team select its preferred prospects, it would now utilize Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat for this year’s draft.

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PITTSBURGH, PA — In a stark change from decades of tradition, the National Football League announced that, rather than the standard method of having each team select its preferred prospects, it would now utilize Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat for this year’s draft.

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Night and (Earth) Day – This image, released in celebration of Earth Day, shows the terminator – the line between night and day – on Earth. The Artemis II astronauts captured this view on April 2, 2026, during their journey to the Moon.
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Night and (Earth) Day – This image, released in celebration of Earth Day, shows the terminator – the line between night and day – on Earth. The Artemis II astronauts captured this view on April 2, 2026, during their journey to the Moon.

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This image, released in celebration of Earth Day, shows the terminator – the line between night and day – on Earth. The Artemis II astronauts captured this view on April 2, 2026, during their journey to the Moon.

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Alex Jones Worried People Will Start To Think Stories Reported By Infowars Are Fake #BabylonBee – AUSTIN, TX — Following an announcement that Infowars would soon be converted into a satirical news outlet, American media personality Alex Jones, known for his fringe conspiracy theories related to the Sandy Hook school shooting and homosexual frogs, expressed concern that people would start to think the stories reported by Infowars are fake.
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Alex Jones Worried People Will Start To Think Stories Reported By Infowars Are Fake #BabylonBee – AUSTIN, TX — Following an announcement that Infowars would soon be converted into a satirical news outlet, American media personality Alex Jones, known for his fringe conspiracy theories related to the Sandy Hook school shooting and homosexual frogs, expressed concern that people would start to think the stories reported by Infowars are fake.

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AUSTIN, TX — Following an announcement that Infowars would soon be converted into a satirical news outlet, American media personality Alex Jones, known for his fringe conspiracy theories related to the Sandy Hook school shooting and homosexual frogs, expressed concern that people would start to think the stories reported by Infowars are fake.

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Famous TV Commercial Characters: Where Are They Now? #BabylonBee – Television commercials are a touchstone of artistic expression. In them, products are sold, and dreams are forged. In those moments, we may consider them a nuisance, but they can also gain a special place in our hearts. And so it is worth reflecting on what became of our favorite TV commercial characters. Where are they now?
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Famous TV Commercial Characters: Where Are They Now? #BabylonBee – Television commercials are a touchstone of artistic expression. In them, products are sold, and dreams are forged. In those moments, we may consider them a nuisance, but they can also gain a special place in our hearts. And so it is worth reflecting on what became of our favorite TV commercial characters. Where are they now?

unitedyam

Television commercials are a touchstone of artistic expression. In them, products are sold, and dreams are forged. In those moments, we may consider them a nuisance, but they can also gain a special place in our hearts. And so it is worth reflecting on what became of our favorite TV commercial characters. Where are they now?

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NASA’s SPHEREx Observatory Maps Interstellar Ice in Milky Way – An observation made by NASA’s SPHEREx mission reveals vast frozen complexes in the Cygnus X star-forming region of the Milky Way galaxy. The chemical signature of water ice is shown as bright blue structures, while polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons are in orange.
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NASA’s SPHEREx Observatory Maps Interstellar Ice in Milky Way – An observation made by NASA’s SPHEREx mission reveals vast frozen complexes in the Cygnus X star-forming region of the Milky Way galaxy. The chemical signature of water ice is shown as bright blue structures, while polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons are in orange.

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An observation made by NASA’s SPHEREx mission reveals vast frozen complexes in the Cygnus X star-forming region of the Milky Way galaxy. The chemical signature of water ice is shown as bright blue structures, while polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons are in orange.

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‘Do Not Fear Mass Islamic Migration,’ Says Pope Behind 40-Foot Walls Of Vatican City Fortress #BabylonBee – VATICAN CITY — Seated inside a fortress with 40-foot walls and surrounded by Swiss guards, Pope Leo XIV cautioned the rest of the world’s population not to fear mass Islamic migration.
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‘Do Not Fear Mass Islamic Migration,’ Says Pope Behind 40-Foot Walls Of Vatican City Fortress #BabylonBee – VATICAN CITY — Seated inside a fortress with 40-foot walls and surrounded by Swiss guards, Pope Leo XIV cautioned the rest of the world’s population not to fear mass Islamic migration.

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VATICAN CITY — Seated inside a fortress with 40-foot walls and surrounded by Swiss guards, Pope Leo XIV cautioned the rest of the world’s population not to fear mass Islamic migration.

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Can You Spot Everything Racist In Trump’s New Triumphal Arch? #BabylonBee – The White House announced the construction of a 250-ft "United States Triumphal Arch" in honor of the nation’s 250th anniversary, which sounds good until you realize just how racist it is.
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Can You Spot Everything Racist In Trump’s New Triumphal Arch? #BabylonBee – The White House announced the construction of a 250-ft "United States Triumphal Arch" in honor of the nation’s 250th anniversary, which sounds good until you realize just how racist it is.

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The White House announced the construction of a 250-ft "United States Triumphal Arch" in honor of the nation’s 250th anniversary, which sounds good until you realize just how racist it is.

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Artemis II Crew Returns to Houston – NASA’s Artemis II crew shared brief remarks with friends, family, and colleagues after they landed at Ellington Airport near NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston on Saturday, April 11, 2026, after a nearly 10-day journey around the Moon and back to Earth.
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Artemis II Crew Returns to Houston – NASA’s Artemis II crew shared brief remarks with friends, family, and colleagues after they landed at Ellington Airport near NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston on Saturday, April 11, 2026, after a nearly 10-day journey around the Moon and back to Earth.

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NASA’s Artemis II crew shared brief remarks with friends, family, and colleagues after they landed at Ellington Airport near NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston on Saturday, April 11, 2026, after a nearly 10-day journey around the Moon and back to Earth.

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