Month: June 2026

NEW YORK, NY — Cuban Americans across the city reportedly took to the sea, eager to once again escape the terrors of communism in homemade rafts that some believed may not even be capable of making the trip.

The newly opened Barack Obama Presidential Center contains so much more than documents from Obama’s time in office; there are dozens of incredible, interactive exhibits for visitors of all ages.

The World Cup has brought real excitement to these American shores, and not just in the form of soccer, but in the innocent, wide-eyed discoveries of European tourists experiencing the United States for the first time.

VATICAN CITY — In disastrous news for the Catholic Church, a mischievous little monkey stole Pope Leo’s hat and placed it on his own head, giving the monkey the power of infallibility.

PITTSBURGH, PA — Local company Stan’s Paper Mill proudly posted on X, formerly Twitter, a message celebrating Pride Month, apparently ignorant of the fact the year is no longer 2014.

CHICAGO, IL — In a cruel denial of basic human rights, the Obama Presidential Library has disenfranchised millions of black Americans by requiring photo identification for entry.

KABUL — The notorious terrorist organization ISIS has claimed responsibility for an algae attack that has disrupted the beautiful blue color of the Reflecting Pool.

CHICAGO, IL — Seated upon his spinning throne chair, a cackling former President Barack Obama invited guests to witness the firepower of his now fully-armed and operational battle station.

U.S. — British tourists visiting the United States have reportedly been surprised by the quality of American food, and also the fact there are no violent hordes of rape gangs roaming the countryside.

NEW YORK, NY — MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, reportedly infuriated by news of ball players defiling their pride hats with Bible verses, has ordered anyone who refuses to bow to the pride flag be cast into the fiery furnace.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — With California adopting a new system to reward LGBTQ+ businesses, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz showed up uninvited at the offices of the California Public Utilities Commission volunteering to personally inspect every California business to see if the owners are gay enough.

NEW YORK, NY — According to sources, Vice President JD Vance stumbled upon an incredible discovery on Tuesday when he made contact with a tribe of illiterate, feral women.

RAMSES — Archaeologists excavating at ancient Egyptian historical sites discovered evidence of another biblical plague, this one believed to have consisted of a horde of cyclists blocking Pharaoh’s morning commute.

Homeschool families used to be easy to spot, as twenty years ago the kids were all giant dorks. These days, it’s a lot more difficult to figure out. Take a close look at this picture and see if you can spot all seven clues that this is a homeschool family:

U.S. — The U.S. Men’s National Team surged into contention as a World Cup betting favorite after bringing in LeBron James to help the team flop around on the grass and act like he’s hurt.

U.S. – Leading scholars believe that the angel who saved Daniel in the lion’s den used a red laser pointer to distract the vicious cats.

U.S. — After making history by becoming the world’s first trillionaire, Elon Musk credited his enormous wealth to carefully following the Dave Ramsey envelope system.

U.S. — The citizens of the United States have overwhelmingly voted to legally adopt the World Cup tourist known only as "Freddy the German."

The 2026 FIFA World Cup is being hosted in the United States for the first time since 1994. But what should be a cause for celebration is, instead, confusing a lot of Americans who can’t quite seem to grasp the nature of the game.

LONDON — In an ongoing effort to balance religious freedom and public safety, the government of the United Kingdom decided to grant exemptions for committed Muslims who wish to don suicide vests for religious and ceremonial purposes.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump set a new world record this week by winning the same war with Iran for the 27th time this year, shattering the previous record of one.